Another two weeks of TFLN (Part 2)

SEX

(910): This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.

http://tfl.nu/a6lo

(419): All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.

http://tfl.nu/ooyw

(757): He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.

http://tfl.nu/ihy8

(646): There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
(1-646): Your pregnant arnt you

http://tfl.nu/t59m

(918): Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.

http://tfl.nu/cew3

(732): obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.

http://tfl.nu/4d0b

(309): so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.

http://tfl.nu/wbty

(847): he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
(952): You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....

http://tfl.nu/ht91

(405): Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times

http://tfl.nu/skpm

(609): This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage

http://tfl.nu/v5ez

(850): some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.

http://tfl.nu/tn6y

(620): Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.

http://tfl.nu/24p0

(702): Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter

http://tfl.nu/pr4p

(760): Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?

http://tfl.nu/iolx