Another two weeks of TFLN (Part 4)

MISC

(860): She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora

http://tfl.nu/wtuh

(703): Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.

http://tfl.nu/0otc

(267): Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
(484): God wants them to get laid too.

http://tfl.nu/23cz

(337): Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.

http://tfl.nu/jwrv

(281): I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.

http://tfl.nu/asc9

(301): Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.

http://tfl.nu/ivbh

(507): Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins

http://tfl.nu/hk0d

(757): I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.

http://tfl.nu/wt3s

(608): I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.

http://tfl.nu/mczp

(660): My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)

http://tfl.nu/iyqj

(703): Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.

http://tfl.nu/mxxc

(704): Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo

http://tfl.nu/ot2w