Monday, July 05, 2010

Texts From Last Night round-up

(575): We need to talk about our relationship.
(403): I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes

(757): Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"

(303): there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'

(440): Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried

(917): I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.

(401): so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C

(956): Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.

(804): Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...

(304): He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.

(562): In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...

(540): Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.

(630): We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds

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