Thursday, August 12, 2010

More TFLNs

(408): if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place

(816): Absence makes the cock grow harder.

(407): we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her

(843): I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?

(773): Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.

(603): did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.

(607): My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.

(774): I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.

(519): I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick

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