Monday, May 17, 2010

Taylor Momsen and bobcats connect

No, not really. But a column on the front page of today's New York Times business section by David Carr talks about how headlines are manipulated to attract Google's attention, so I thought I'd get in on the act. Like this post, his column had nothing to do with Taylor Momsen. And I can't even claim to have had any idea who Taylor Momsen is, at least before I read his column.

As for the bobcats, (which this post really isn't about either), a lot of the visits to this blog have been by people who Googled "bobcats" in its images section. I've had over thirty of my "Living with bobcats" posts, which I have illustrated with one or another bobcat image I've hotlinked to. For some reason Google sometimes lists this blog in the first five or six results. Last week it was even number three, until it disappeared on Sunday. My daily hit count went way down.

So this is my shameless attempt to regain my high ranking for bobcats (plural, not singular) images.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Another two weeks of TFLN (Part 4)


(860): She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora

(703): Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.

(267): Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
(484): God wants them to get laid too.

(337): Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.

(281): I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.

(301): Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.

(507): Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins

(757): I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.

(608): I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.

(660): My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)

(703): Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.

(704): Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo

Another two weeks of TFLN (Part 3)


(816): Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.

(616): We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.

(914): I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me


(516): any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?

(260): Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
(219): You said that last year...

(269): Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.

(516): Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.

(970): the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".

(512): Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?

(856): i just sold back the books i vomitted on

(845): Because ur a stupid bitch
(1-845): Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.

(864): Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this

(366): just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.

(203): The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.

(715): Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!

(503): No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.

Another two weeks of TFLN (Part 2)


(910): This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.

(419): All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.

(757): He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.

(646): There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
(1-646): Your pregnant arnt you

(918): Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.

(732): obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.

(309): so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.

(847): he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
(952): You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....

(405): Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times

(609): This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage

(850): some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.

(620): Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.

(702): Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter

(760): Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?

Another two weeks of Texts From Last Night (Part1)

There are just tons and tons of good ones. There's something about the end of the school year that brings out the worst (and funniest) in people.


(720): You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb

(765): I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.

(203): that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.

(501): Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.

(214): bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.

(615): good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.

(757): you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'

(904): Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea

(518): As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.

(613): I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after

Sometimes I really think the same way

From Bizarro

Plat du jour