Saturday, January 01, 2011

Catching up on the TFLNs, part 5

(616): He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
(1-616): Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!

(530): Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.

(812): Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...

(508): He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?

(903): Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.

(647): I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask

(519): What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?

(901): My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.

(937): Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?

(859): Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.

(913): The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.

(847): I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face

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