Monday, January 03, 2011

Catching up on the TFLNs, part 7 (and last)

(612): we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on

(404): Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night

(520): I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.

(316): The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.

(617): My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.

(714): You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"

(907): I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.

(847): He tried peeing out of the sunroof.

(608): I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night

(347): She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her

(604): Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
(1-604): That doesn't help me much...
(604): I'm right under the moon!

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