Monday, October 24, 2011

I think maybe Monday is when all the weekend TFLNs show up

(480): His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.

(704): Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?

(617): What time did you start drinking?
(978): Maybe.
(617): Maybe isn't a time...

(401): i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree

(630): Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"

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