Catching up on the TFLNs

(651): I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober. http://tfl.nu/gztw

(508): So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test. http://tfl.nu/gxsj

(604): i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
(1-604): please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night. http://tfl.nu/j80d

(317): Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night. http://tfl.nu/8cwu

(416): this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me http://tfl.nu/7rt7

(515): You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it. http://tfl.nu/irby

(920): Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina http://tfl.nu/ae28

(914): I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
(917): The hookers weren't a dream get tested http://tfl.nu/wjzv