2 hours ago
Thursday, January 06, 2011
Tuesday, January 04, 2011
Now I'm really caught up.
(646): Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?http://tfl.nu/kahl
(208): Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmashttp://tfl.nu/3mqp
(901): I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.http://tfl.nu/166i
(540): The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.http://tfl.nu/ildr
(703): So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
(+44): i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...http://tfl.nu/kqc9
(905): Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.http://tfl.nu/b27t
(214): I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.http://tfl.nu/9wgv
(763): After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it endedhttp://tfl.nu/x97c
(920): She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.http://tfl.nu/r6m3
(302): This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.http://tfl.nu/kdws
(210): Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....http://tfl.nu/qwdm
(817): I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .http://tfl.nu/sz0c
(604): You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at peoplehttp://tfl.nu/m3p8
(646): just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.http://tfl.nu/48r0
(304): You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it uphttp://tfl.nu/adeo
(319): Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.http://tfl.nu/ktvf
(204): You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.http://tfl.nu/a92s
(913): You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowlhttp://tfl.nu/bt6t
(651): That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.http://tfl.nu/pnvl
(859): How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?http://tfl.nu/dl3d
(619): surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.http://tfl.nu/u5eo
(352): Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?http://tfl.nu/bc2r
Monday, January 03, 2011
(612): we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now onhttp://tfl.nu/0rd7
(404): Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one nighthttp://tfl.nu/nrlr
(520): I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.http://tfl.nu/cz3b
(316): The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.http://tfl.nu/ngvo
(617): My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.http://tfl.nu/kt95
(714): You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"http://tfl.nu/cx8m
(907): I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.http://tfl.nu/os26
(847): He tried peeing out of the sunroof.http://tfl.nu/ep38
(608): I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last nighthttp://tfl.nu/nzfl
(347): She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love herhttp://tfl.nu/h5zu
(604): Come find me please? Im in a ditch.http://tfl.nu/u7hc
(1-604): That doesn't help me much...
(604): I'm right under the moon!
Sunday, January 02, 2011
LGBT and DRINKING
(336): They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.http://tfl.nu/wrv2
(978): i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.http://tfl.nu/qg5x
(818): At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.http://tfl.nu/iwbw
(702): she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.http://tfl.nu/b0kq
(214): So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.http://tfl.nu/y0zl
(727): My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.http://tfl.nu/gjqc
(706): My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturdayhttp://tfl.nu/gbim
(262): some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the nighthttp://tfl.nu/wjmk
(727): Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legshttp://tfl.nu/d5ya
LGBT and DRINKING
(314): I drank myself into bisexuality again.http://tfl.nu/eg45
- I find it absolutely amazing how frequently websites' default choices are not what I would choose. Facebook does this constantly, Myspace (I still look at it occasionally) and Citibank's website are pretty good (or rather, bad) at it also.
- Wisconsin had its chances to win the Rose Bowl, but came up a little short. Still, it was a good game to watch.
- I have finished the evening with a beer when I went out the last couple times. It goes down nice and smooth, yet I haven't found I need to run to the bathroom before I go back to CDI to change.