Wisconsin beat Nebraska. Nebraska beat Michigan State. Michigan State beat Wisconsin.
We beat each other to a pulp.
2 hours ago
(240): Apparently you can coat check a keg. http://tfl.nu/sdmi
(512): That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
(210): It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
(512): Is your card paying for my plan b? http://tfl.nu/703j
(480): His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it. http://tfl.nu/pwa8
(704): Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night? http://tfl.nu/zhm8
(617): What time did you start drinking?
(617): Maybe isn't a time... http://tfl.nu/r4p5
(401): i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree http://tfl.nu/su4s
(630): Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later" http://tfl.nu/rgop
(651): raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
(608): lets go back to having secrets in our friendship http://tfl.nu/pq7s
(404): The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed http://tfl.nu/y06v
(530): Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
(530): That could use a little rephrasing http://tfl.nu/xfz9
(978): I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital.. http://tfl.nu/5pzt
(704): My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search. http://tfl.nu/gxvg
(781): One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach? http://tfl.nu/leuf
(210): My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out http://tfl.nu/di5z
(509): walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her. http://tfl.nu/knz9
(231): Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you. http://tfl.nu/6utw
(+61): i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that? http://tfl.nu/m9eq
(512): Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids. http://tfl.nu/hflo