Saturday, November 26, 2011

Uh, Postal Service?

I wonder how much it would cost to send St. Patrick's Day back to Ireland?

Plat du jour

Friday, November 25, 2011

TFLNs, Thanksgiving edition

(630): Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.

(817): she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable

(303): I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college

(973): Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like

(561): I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.

Plus a couple of non-Thanksgiving ones:

(646): You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?

(218): If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks

Montee Ball for the Heisman!

I'm now following @MoneyBall28 on Twitter, helping to push Montee to the Heisman! On Wisconsin! #monteeball

One more reason to stay out of Walmart

Woman pepper sprays other Walmart Black Friday shoppers

Battle for Black Friday deals includes pepper spray, shootings

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Plat du jour--guest submission

Found by Carolyn Ann.

The latest TFLNs

(412): My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life

(502): Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?

(301): he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.

(719): Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.

(610): Don't text me with that hand

(845): Just got motor boated by a horse in the street

(214): I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.

(469): Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.

(607): It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.

(517): I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?

(+44): You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
(1+44): When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.