Saturday, December 24, 2011

Semi-random thoughts

  • For years I've been saying that Iraq would be three separate countries within 15 years of us getting out. Now I wonder if it will be 15 months.
  • I recently got a visitor to my blog from Mongolia. I think that's a first.
  • My wife asked me to add a couple of tags to her key ring--her new gym membership card and a Godiva Chocolate frequent buyers card.

Somalia acts against its own thugs

43 Pirates Arrested, Extensive Shore-Based Anti-Piracy Operations Continue in Somalia

It remains to be seen if this actually does anything significant.

The TFLN round-up

(408): You are right.  The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
(724): My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
(360): Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
(619): The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
(1-619): Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
(218): You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
(712): I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand.  I think I'm in love
(859): if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
(712): That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist.  If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
(517): I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.


I wonder if drivers compete for this route just so they can make this joke.
Commuter to 10 bus driver: Are you a 10?
Driver: Hope so... At least an eight.

--X10 Bus Stop

via Overheard in New York, Dec 23, 2011

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Two more days of them

(971): he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
(916): you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
(503): I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
(717): Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
(724): Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.

Monday, December 19, 2011

The week's best TFLNs

(269): I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
(580): Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
(530): it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
(+61): I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
(517): btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
(503): All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
(248): Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
(+33): We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom.  How ill would Picasso be?
(519): I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
(952): Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
(301): Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
(251): How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?