(941): We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships. http://tfl.nu/x14j
(336): You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch http://tfl.nu/vf66
(706): He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom? http://tfl.nu/9suz
(803): Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday... http://tfl.nu/4ejd
(605): I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway... http://tfl.nu/fmfe
(214): As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight. http://tfl.nu/njgf
(348): Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
(1-348): You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion. http://tfl.nu/i2j4