Saturday, February 04, 2012

TFLN time

(802): My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward. http://tfl.nu/hjrs
(541): I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore. http://tfl.nu/k0jx
(360): You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch. http://tfl.nu/13cn
(801): walk of shame  this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids.  judgemental little shits.  on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home. http://tfl.nu/tt4s
(530): Maybe I'm a robot.
(831): You can't be that drunk already http://tfl.nu/ekm7
(707): She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast. http://tfl.nu/czk4
(206): We're in the emergency room.  He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face. http://tfl.nu/gmb1
(516): I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick. http://tfl.nu/yu0a

I ♥ NYC

Asian tourist: Sir, is it true that New Yorkers have the nasty habit of answering a question with another question?
Queens old timer: Who told you that?

--Times Square

from Overheard in New York

Plat du jour

Thursday, February 02, 2012

Happy Groundhog Day!

Celebrate Groundhog Day. Eat some pork sausage.

Wednesday, February 01, 2012

More TFLNs

(410): The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal. http://tfl.nu/fe59
(401): in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think http://tfl.nu/ydqs
(570): Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone. http://tfl.nu/7xsv
(708): We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance http://tfl.nu/osk3
(847): I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night  i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles http://tfl.nu/eek8
(215): The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
(267): It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID... http://tfl.nu/2nuu
(847): Disregard the shoes in the freezer. http://tfl.nu/ak94
(215): Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave? http://tfl.nu/vjuq

I didn't realize dead people use the internet

Free Wi-Fi Comes to Trinity Church Graveyard