Saturday, February 04, 2012

TFLN time

(802): My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
(541): I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
(360): You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
(801): walk of shame  this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids.  judgemental little shits.  on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
(530): Maybe I'm a robot.
(831): You can't be that drunk already
(707): She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
(206): We're in the emergency room.  He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
(516): I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.


Asian tourist: Sir, is it true that New Yorkers have the nasty habit of answering a question with another question?
Queens old timer: Who told you that?

--Times Square

from Overheard in New York

Plat du jour

Thursday, February 02, 2012

Wednesday, February 01, 2012

More TFLNs

(410): The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
(401): in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
(570): Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
(708): We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
(847): I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night  i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
(215): The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
(267): It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
(847): Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
(215): Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?

I didn't realize dead people use the internet

Free Wi-Fi Comes to Trinity Church Graveyard