Saturday, February 25, 2012

Fairey admits guilt

Artist admits lying over Obama poster image

It's been over two years since I last blogged on this. Liar/copyright violator/artist Shepard Fairey has now pleaded guilty to a charge of contempt of court, and faces six months in jail. I hope they throw the book at him.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Semi-random thoughts

  • Writing a bio of myself in the third person is weird.
  • I got a visitor to my glob from Djibouti.
  • A friend of my wife's pointed out that her new thermos is really an adult sippy cup.
  • Today is the 25th anniversary of my first meeting the woman who would become my wife.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Two days of TFLNs

(602): I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one.  She is taking me to see her dog now.
(+55): Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
(347): Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
(907): She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
(404): Watch the news tonight.  They interviewed me about a fire.  I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
(403): I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
(607): I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
(315): Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
(864): I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
(215): hungover waitressing a bar association event.  im being judged by actual judges.

They didn't teach us about this when I was in law school

UK court OKs legal claim to be served via Facebook

Of course, there was no Facebook when I was in law school (Mark Zuckerberg had not even been born). Also, no Internet. Also, just about no personal computers.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

It's the Sunday TFLN round-up

(814): I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
(+44): He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake.  How was your Valentines Day?
(617): I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
(517): all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
(609):  Stop inviting me to your birth control calender job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
(856): Lmao sorry
(661): random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
(567): Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there.  Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
(717): Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
(306): Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
(615): When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
(310): My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
(323): If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
(604): We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
(+04): Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
(267): They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
(304): I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
(308): And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?