Monday, June 29, 2015

Texts from last night

(620): I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?

(615): The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person

(407): He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.

(540): Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.

(337): Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."

(513): where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.

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