Thursday, August 27, 2015

Recent news round-up, Part 2

Good News
Bad News

Recent news round-up, Part 1

Good News
Bad News

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Cartoon of the day

H/T to Lynette Nusbacher

Today's news round-up

Good News
Bad News

Texts from last night

Ashley Madison

(812): See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.

(202): Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.

(432): Hooray!  My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
(334): I will chop off your penis


(516): The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.

(540): pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.

(651): He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator

(+61): For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex

What you did last night

(519): you made out with another girl for some wings

(847): Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar

(506): you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.

What I did last night

(603): Well I didn't know she was a I kind of just went with it

(210): My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan

(732): We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.

(563): I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.

What happened last night?

(218): Why was I lying under a truck last night?

(910): Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night

(919): So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
(919): Both questions will answer each other.

And last, but not least

(406): Because you touch yourself at night.
(701): ...What time of day am I supposed to do it?