I guess they don't have any transsexuals in Kansas

5PM Patient: Hey! It's Damn Cold In This Paper Gown

Physician: What can you tell me about this X-ray?
Student: It's a male pelvis with two fractures.
Physician: It's shaped like a male pelvis, but it's not.
Student: How can you tell?
Physician: The lack of a penis outline on the X-ray helps.

Emergency Room, University of Kansas Hospital
Kansas City, Kansas

Overheard by: Stifling the Laugh

via Overheard in the Office, Dec 1, 2006

Did Continental Airlines kill my mother?

The Associated Press is running a little article, Firms Troubled by Sick People in Office, citing a survey that shows 56% of US businesses have a problem with "presenteeism:" employees who show up for work even when they are sick. The employees are unproductive, their illnesses get worse, leading to increased healthcare costs, and they transmit their diseases to other employees.

Even worse, they transmit their diseases to the firms' customers. I try to avoid flying on Continental Airlines whenever possible, because of its Perfect Attendance Program. They trumpet it in their Annual Report. Among other incentives to come into work sick, Continental employees who have no absences are entered into a drawing for a Ford Explorer. Just what I don't want: to be sealed into an airplane with sick people. It's even worse that I might be getting my drinks and snacks from sick crew-members trying to win a car.

My mother flew Continental when she visited me in October. Four days later she had pneumonia, and died shortly after that. Did Continental kill my mother?

Thanks, Google!

Google lists my glob as 12th when you search for kickass blog.

Talking back at the headlines

"Top News" headlines from the Associated Press at 3:12am:

• Bush, al-Maliki Agree Not to Divide Iraq
Some other people may have a say in this.

• Panel Reaches Deal on U.S.-Iraq Policy
A deal only among themselves. It will be politely ignored by Bush.

• Radiation Found on 2 Jets in Spy Probe
2 jets? This is getting worse and worse.

• 7M in U.S. Jails, on Probation or Parole
We're not going to solve the drug problem in this country just by locking everyone up.

• Preacher Arrested in Alleged Murder Plot
Doesn't the Ten Commandments have something to say about murder?

• Army Scammed Into Buying Golf Balls
Are people so stupid they think this kind of stuff won't be noticed eventually?

• Killer Whale Attacks Trainer at SeaWorld
So? It's a killer whale. The guy was lucky.

• Ford Says 38,000 Accepted Buyout Offers
That's an awful lot of people. I wonder where the ones who aren't retiring will find jobs, even with the education benefits.

Spam: NOT back to normal

I thought my spam count was getting back to normal. I shouldn't have opened my big mouth. Yesterday I got 88--the most for any day in the last two weeks.

Plat du jour

.

Male utilities?

Man Shoots Doe With Rack of Antlers

MICHIGAN, N.D. (AP) - When Carmen Erickson dropped a deer with a single shot in a cattail slough south of here, he thought he'd downed a nice buck. Unlike his shot, he was a little off. The deer was a doe.

"It's got no male utilities," said Erickson, who lives in Minot. "It has teats ... it was pretty unusual."

Six hunting partners with Erickson witnessed the doe with a 4-by-4 rack.

"I'm sure this story will be around for 10 years," he said. "At least in our group."

Erickson notified the state Game and Fish Department and received a voice mail from a biologist who said these types of deer often are bucks whose testicles haven't descended or for some reason are castrated. Erickson said that is not the case with his deer, however.

"We couldn't find any male genitals on the deer," he said.

"We turned it over, and I got a lot of heat over that. Like I was supposed to know," Erickson joked.

Gary Rankin, district game warden in Larimore, said he has seen a couple of antlered does over the years, but for a doe to have a well-developed rack is unusual.

It is not the first antlered doe to be reported in the region this year. A conservation officer for the Minnesota Department of Natural Resources reported seeing a 10-point antlered doe shot near Robbin, Minn., during that state's firearms deer season. DNR conservation officers in other parts of Minnesota also reported a handful of antlered does.

Erickson said the antlered doe is a first for his crew, which has been hunting together for 25 years.

"It definitely was a keeper, he said.

Spam back to normal?

After another week of high spam count (average: 68/day), with 82 two days ago, suddenly the count went back down to 45 yesterday--little more than normal. So far today it still seems to be continuing at a normal level.

Plat du jour

An angry Yankees fan?

Questions of the day

Why is it that the Dallas Cowboys of the National Football League is in the East Division, and the Dallas Stars of the National Hockey League is in the Pacific Division?