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(802): My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward. http://tfl.nu/hjrs
(541): I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore. http://tfl.nu/k0jx
(360): You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch. http://tfl.nu/13cn
(801): walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home. http://tfl.nu/tt4s
(530): Maybe I'm a robot.
(831): You can't be that drunk already http://tfl.nu/ekm7
(707): She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast. http://tfl.nu/czk4
(206): We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face. http://tfl.nu/gmb1
(516): I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick. http://tfl.nu/yu0a
Asian tourist: Sir, is it true that New Yorkers have the nasty habit of answering a question with another question?
Queens old timer: Who told you that?
--Times Square
from
Overheard in New York
(410): The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal. http://tfl.nu/fe59
(401): in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think http://tfl.nu/ydqs
(570): Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone. http://tfl.nu/7xsv
(708): We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance http://tfl.nu/osk3
(847): I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles http://tfl.nu/eek8
(215): The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
(267): It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID... http://tfl.nu/2nuu
(847): Disregard the shoes in the freezer. http://tfl.nu/ak94
(215): Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave? http://tfl.nu/vjuq
