Texts from last night

(630): Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today http://tfl.nu/cse0

(813): Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour http://tfl.nu/fu54

(503): how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob? http://tfl.nu/571v

(562): I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened? http://tfl.nu/zj7u

(504): Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower. http://tfl.nu/5itm

Today's news round-up

Good News

• Obama looks like he’s actually having fun being president
• U.S., allies conduct 14 air strikes in Syria, nine in Iraq: military

Bad News

• Suspected Boko Haram insurgents step up attacks in Nigeria

Today's news round-up

Good News

• Iceland makes blasphemy legal
• Surrogate children granted legal recognition in France
• Air strike kills IS leader in Syria: Pentagon
• Chad seizes suspected Boko Haram weapons cache in N'Djamena
• Kenya detains alleged Islamic State recruiters from Uganda
• Pakistani police save Christian couple from 'blasphemy' mob
• NYC Mayor Bill de Blasio signs law to ban employers from asking job candidates about criminal history
• Sweet Cakes final order: Gresham bakery must pay $135,000 for denying service to same-sex couple

Bad News

• New Spain law sets big fines for disseminating police images
• In under two days, Boko Haram kills nearly 170 in NE Nigeria
• Russian MPs pass 'right to be forgotten' Internet law
• IS says it destroyed archaeological pieces from Palmyra
• IS destroys statue outside Syria's Palmyra museum

Recent news round-up, Part 2

Good News

• Washington state Girl Scouts return donation over anti-transgender demand

Bad News

• Tennessee store owner posts sign telling gays to stay away
• Islamic State threatens to topple Hamas in Gaza

Recent news round-up, Part 1

Good News

• US probing possible airline collusion to keep fares high
• Flo Rida, Jonathan Scott out of Miss USA, Macy's dumps Trump
• Federal judge: Alabama counties must allow gay marriage
• 5th Circuit tells courts to issue same-sex marriage rulings
• Baltimore to put cameras in police vans, review riot gear
• Oklahoma Supreme Court Orders Removal Of Ten Commandments Monument From State Capitol
• Judge Blocks Florida Law Requiring 24-Hour Waiting Period For Abortions
• Misty Copeland Named First Black Female Principal Dancer at American Ballet Theater
• Syrian Kurds say thwart big Islamic State attack on border town

Bad News

• In first, IS beheads two Syria women for 'sorcery': NGO

Today's news round-up

Good News

• Justices uphold Arizona's system for redistricting
• Louisiana issues marriage licenses to same-sex couples
• NBC severing business relationship with Donald Trump
• John Oliver To Media: Transgender Medical Choices “None Of Your F*cking Business”
• Pine Bush School District Agrees to Pay $4.48 Million to Settle Anti-Semitism Suit
• Mozambique scraps colonial-era homosexuality ban
• Colorado's high court blocks school voucher program
• Supreme Court Allows Texas Abortion Clinics to Remain Open
• Ninth Circuit Panel Revives Transgender Inmate’s Bid for Surgery

Bad News

• Wisconsin coach Bo Ryan to retire after next season
• Texas attorney general calls court's gay marriage decision 'a lawless ruling'
• Hounded and out of work, gay Ukrainians flee rebel east

Cartoon of the day

Rhymes with Orange

Texts from last night

(620): I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going? http://tfl.nu/0dn7

(615): The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person http://tfl.nu/64c8

(407): He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me. http://tfl.nu/a7jm

(540): Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys. http://tfl.nu/72bo

(337): Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too." http://tfl.nu/wi1y

(513): where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet. http://tfl.nu/hb26

Today's news round-up

Good News

• Kurds oust IS from Syria's Kobane as civilian toll mounts
• Latin American women fight back against harassment
• Cuomo demanding state Education Department to better protect transgender students
• Shouting Obscenities at Police Not Disorderly Conduct Top NY Court Rules

Bad News

• Turkish police use water cannons to clear gay pride rally and Istanbul police use teargas to break up Gay Pride parade

• SpaceX rocket explodes after launch

Animal headline of the day

Beaver attacks 2 Oregon men who climbed on top of dam