(817): Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
http://tfl.nu/vehz
(720): Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
http://tfl.nu/ydo1
(201): So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
http://tfl.nu/c7nq
Last night...
(863): I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
http://tfl.nu/nwd4
(204): You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
http://tfl.nu/1623
(470): you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
http://tfl.nu/zbrg
(706): He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
http://tfl.nu/fgjf
(337): She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
http://tfl.nu/xurr
(612): Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
http://tfl.nu/7z0t
