(360): sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name. http://tfl.nu/z35x
(734): What do you wear to apply at a strip club? http://tfl.nu/ttz5
(917): Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up. http://tfl.nu/5qka
(269): Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward. http://tfl.nu/yk34
(714): I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work. http://tfl.nu/rjuf
(484): judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog. http://tfl.nu/kq70
(432): I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line. http://tfl.nu/q8nl
(484): i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen. http://tfl.nu/hdza
(989): Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with http://tfl.nu/ctqs
(330): he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder.. http://tfl.nu/5whr
(484): how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
(215): you found the shrooms didnt you http://tfl.nu/rmts
(707): I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
(1-707): You did like 8 http://tfl.nu/2yf9
(404): Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out. http://tfl.nu/ejyb
(937): How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold. http://tfl.nu/0xc1
(519): I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
(519): Omg I think I'm in the wrong class http://tfl.nu/znqx
