Plat du jour

Let's hear it for bad writing

The winners of San Jose State University's 26th annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest have been announced. The grand prize, given for the worst example of an opening sentence of an imaginary novel, went to Garrison Spik of Washington, D.C. for

Theirs was a New York love, a checkered taxi ride burning rubber, and like the city their passion was open 24/7, steam rising from their bodies like slick streets exhaling warm, moist, white breath through manhole covers stamped "Forged by DeLaney Bros., Piscataway, N.J."

My favorite division of the competition is for "Vile Puns." The winner:

Vowing revenge on his English teacher for making him memorize Wordsworth's "Intimations of Immortality," Warren decided to pour sugar in her gas tank, but he inadvertently grabbed a sugar substitute so it was actually Splenda in the gas.

An opening sentence doesn't have to be long to be bad. There was this in the "Miscellaneous Dishonorable Mentions:"

She had the kind of body that made a man want to have sex with her.

Another "Olympic" record

Yesterday my glob had 1,223 visitors. Well over 90% went straight (tee-hee) to Mary Carillo lesbian?. (Anyone interested in my opinion on the matter should click on the link to my post.)

Plat du jour

NOICANT.

Happy birthday to my glob

It's three years old today. I've published 1,151 posts in that time. My first.

Well, it was an experiment at that point. I didn't know what I was doing. (OK, who said I still don't?)

(Hmmm, in writing this I noticed I have 9 posts in draft that I never published. I'll have to look into that.)

35,000 visitors!

My glob just received its 35,000th visitor. It only took about three months for the last 5,000. Thank you, Mary Carillo.

BTW, yesterday did not break my "Olympic record" for visitors in a single day. But it did come close: 979.

Plat du jour

Jaguars say "woofff?"

Mini-rants

● Why do the clementines in the current bag have so many seeds?

● I wish Tim Daggett would give a little more technical description when commentating on the Olympics gymnastics. I don't need him to tell me me something is "crazy hard."

● I wish this cold would go away.

● McAfee's patch doesn't work. Its Anti-Spam program still crashes my browser often. Grrr.

My Olympic records

I guess Mary Carillo's first broadcast stint at the Olympics was Sunday. So I wasn't surprised when my previous record of 278 visitors to my glob (set during Wimbledon) was smashed. I got 657 hits, mostly people wanting to know her sexuality, marital status, etc.

But that was just the prelude. Yesterday I got 1,001 visitors.

Plat du jour

The funniest cat picture I've ever seen

more cat pictures

Plat du jour

A James Bond fan, I guess. Among films I preferred From Russia with Love, though the recent Casino Royale may have equalled it. As far as the books themselves, On Her Majesty's Secret Service was Fleming's best.

Weekly free associations

Sandyshoes found this one at http://subliminal.lunanina.com

1. Month to month :: tenancy


2. Adjusted :: gross income


3. Prank :: juvenile


4. Mop :: up


5. Clarity :: preciseness


6. Parenting :: magazine


7. Glenn :: Falls


8. Fingerprint :: CSI


9. Pineapple :: Street


10. Attorney :: lawyer

Plat du jour