Shakespeare
(713): Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
http://tfl.nu/3gau
(505): Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
http://tfl.nu/7nsl
You were so drunk...
(212): You tried paying your tab with the coaster
http://tfl.nu/mvrj
(302): You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
http://tfl.nu/6dux
Walk of shame
(636): Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
http://tfl.nu/847y
(603): walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
http://tfl.nu/pp82
Random
(413): did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
http://tfl.nu/ipzm
(585): I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
http://tfl.nu/ilba
(270): Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
http://tfl.nu/12d1
(814): I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
http://tfl.nu/ixzz
(641): The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
http://tfl.nu/o5e6
(740): All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
http://tfl.nu/acno
(614): So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
http://tfl.nu/8ind