Catching up on the TFLNs

(651): I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober. http://tfl.nu/gztw

(508): So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test. http://tfl.nu/gxsj

(604): i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
(1-604): please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night. http://tfl.nu/j80d

(317): Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night. http://tfl.nu/8cwu

(416): this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me http://tfl.nu/7rt7

(515): You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it. http://tfl.nu/irby

(920): Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina http://tfl.nu/ae28

(914): I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
(917): The hookers weren't a dream get tested http://tfl.nu/wjzv

Plat du jour

One of the 1%.

Happy Nerd New Year! And happy anniversary to me

It's 11/11/11, Nerd New Year according to some.

It's also the 13th anniversary of the first time I went out as Caprice. No Bat Mitzvah jokes, please.

Some more bad news for the thugs

Marines to Build Mock Container Ship for Counter-Piracy Training

France launches Gulf of Guinea anti-piracy op

Plat du jour--guest submission

Similar to 3 KIDS, and 3BRATS. Found by Carolyn Ann.

The latest Texts From Last Night

(860): Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress? http://tfl.nu/gpyt

(425): We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party. http://tfl.nu/nzty

(402): doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question..... http://tfl.nu/jtx7

(903): As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix. http://tfl.nu/azut

(516): why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka? http://tfl.nu/od3j

(815): im sober
(920): you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive http://tfl.nu/hm58

(717): He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again... http://tfl.nu/wz8h

(570): Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid. http://tfl.nu/hx89

Gay couples aren't just like straight ones

Asking who’s the “man” and who’s the “woman” in a gay relationship is like going to a Chinese restaurant and asking which chopstick is the fork.

I got this from Apathy Angel, but it seems to have been around for a while.

Micro movie review

Moneyball: Fair (but pretty close to the foul line).

Somali thugs lose one

Fishermen freed themselves, retook boat after pirate hijacking in Indian Ocean, Taiwan says

Also, this good news:

EU Navfor Warship FGs Koeln Disrupts and Sinks Pirate Action Group

And this:

Stinky Water Walls Sold as Better Pirate Shield Than Bullets

And this:

Somalia Piracy Spurs Private Navy to Start Within Five Months

Plat du jour

As far as I can tell, being a Roman has nothing to do with Adelphi University.