Halloween
(513): I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
http://tfl.nu/1ljx
(908): Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
http://tfl.nu/d9os
(865): We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
http://tfl.nu/d4vq
Not Halloween
(813): The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
http://tfl.nu/rp4t
(863): Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
http://tfl.nu/weki
(778): Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
(1-778): You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
http://tfl.nu/go57
(937): That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
http://tfl.nu/n6c3
(250): I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
http://tfl.nu/zqjx
(585): I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
http://tfl.nu/hw9x
