Plat du jour--guest submission

Yes, the Mets do now play at Citi Field.

Another one found by Joanne.

Tweet your prayers to the Western Wall!

New service lets Jews tweet a prayer to God

It's @TheKotel

Plat du jour

Adopts what? Children? Pets? Laws?

Living with wild turkeys VI

Aggressive Turkey Moves into Tenafly Neighborhood

I ♥ NYC!

From Overheard in New York:

Bimbette #1: So then I found out he hooked up with Amy while I was peeing in the bathroom.
Bimbette #2: Did you still sleep with him?
Bimbette #1: Yeah, of course! Why should I let her have all the fun? I just don't know what to do now, though cause I feel like I had her sloppy seconds.
Random lady sitting in front of them: Girls can you shut the hell up already? I'm trying to enjoy a quiet train ride home. No one here cares who you slept with, we all know you're gonna be with a different guy next week, anyway.
(girls jump up and run out of train car, one in tears)

--Penn Station

Headline of the day

Gravedigger helped unearth Ill. cemetery scandal

Semi-random thoughts

● I ♥ superglue.

● I was headlined in a post by Burlesque Magazine on FB. They probably misread the article from last fall that they linked to, thinking I perform. Still, it's an honor to be mentioned in the same sentence with Murray Hill, Angie Pontani, and Peekaboo Pointe.

● Is anything ever monged besides fish?

● I got my new DVR hooked up (the hard drive in the old one died Sunday). It's a new model, and I gained some new functions, but lost some old ones. It's nice getting black (not gray) bars on the sides of 4X3 programs automatically, but I miss being able to buffer two shows at once--though I think if I record both of them I will be able to switch back and forth, fast-forwarding through the commercials. The new remote that came with it can actually power on the TV and the A/V receiver, and control the audio volume via the receiver as well.

● What exactly do they do at the dress rehearsal of a burlesque show?

Presidential quote of the day

For people who want a president to look great in tight jeans, I'm sorry."

From the AP

Plat du jour

Sorry, but the West Village is in New York, not New Jersey.

Twitter exchange of the day

XXXXXXXX:

I'm driving I'm driving - oops guess I shouldn't be tweeting :)

YYYYYYYY:

@XXXXXXXX Yay! You get your license back???

Plat du jour

Weekly free associations

1. Banter :: Yak


2. Amazing :: Race


3. Towel :: Washcloth


4. Cinema :: Movie


5. Newspaper :: Times


6. Not good :: Bad


7. My type :: O+


8. Twinkle :: Twinkle Little Star


9. Actress :: Actor


10. Daft :: Crazy

From: Unconscious Mutterings

Plat du jour

I wonder if they're any relation to QQQQQ?

Huh?

150-pound Minn. cupcake sets Guinness record

I thought the whole idea of cupcakes is that they're small.

Weekly free associations

Gosh, it's been a long time since I posted anything.

1. Sister :: Twisted


2. Talks :: Walks


3. Electric! :: Company


4. Corner :: Store


5. Turnstile :: Subway


6. Swap :: Meet


7. Young :: Restless


8. Horrific :: Terrible


9. Block :: Party


10. Wind :: Chimes

1. Independence :: Day


2. Meltdown :: Atomic


3. Vulture :: Bird


4. Hope :: Faith


5. Float :: Boat


6. Hole :: Wall


7. Trespass :: Forgive


8. Moving :: Target


9. Extinct :: Dead


10. Alligator :: Crocodile

From: Unconscious Mutterings

Plat du jour

I wonder if he knows the MINISTER.

Yawn headline of the day

Nielsen: Kids spending more time online

Report from the Berkshires II: Wildlife sighting

I have not seen any of the bears that our inn warned us about. However, yesterday morning we saw a fox wandering around the lawn of the place. It was maybe 10 yards away, and just stood there looking at us for a while (and vice versa). I tried to get a picture of it, but my cellphone camera failed me.

Plat du jour

Where in the world is he? Taanglewood.

Report from the Berkshires

I haven't been eaten by a bear. So far.

Plat du jour

I wonder who's driving her.

Mother knows best

From Overheard in New York:

Girl: I told my mom that I would probably be alone for the rest of my life. Yesterday she sent me an e-mail with a link to petfinder.com.

--Student Center, Barnard

Plat du jour

Weekly free associations

I almost forgot this week's.

1. Guest :: Host


2. Impact :: Sudden


3. Unplanned :: Pregnancy


4. Tactic :: Strategy


5. Delayed :: Response


6. Bombastic :: Reaction


7. Comfort :: Inn


8. Trumpet :: Trombone


9. Joe :: the Plumber


10. Budget :: Rent-a-car

HT to Unconscious Mutterings.

Plat du jour--guest find

Found by singer/songwriter Namoli Brennet. It's been too long since I heard her singing live.

Headline of the day

Anti-Anxiety Drugs Raise New Fears

HT to Ivan Dominguez

Plat du jour

On a great big SUV, the perfect urban vehicle. Not.

It was stopped at a red light, so I couldn't get real close. This is greatly enlarged.

Weekly free asssociations

I forgot to do these for a while.

1. Divorce :: Court


2. Napkin :: Paper


3. Camera :: Digital


4. Leather :: Stormy


5. Fractures :: Breaks


6. Flip out :: Go crazy


7. Coroner :: Forensics


8. Atomic :: Particles


9. Liz :: Smith


10. Leave :: Go away

1. Nudity :: Partial


2. Domestic :: Foreign


3. Burp :: Baby


4. Baby :: Burp


5. Dateline :: Television


6. Retract :: Claws


7. Suppose :: Real


8. Surreal :: Dali


9. Infidelity :: No-no


10. Token :: Subway

1. Hockey :: Ice


2. Twirling :: Pasties


3. Montreal :: Donna


4. Better :: Best


5. New :: Old


6. Rally :: Political


7. Stanley :: Livingstone


8. USB :: Connection


9. Scouted :: Out


10. Cough :: Syrup

HT to Unconscious Mutterings.

Plat du jour--guest submission

I guess this person is unseasoned.

From Carolyn Ann's collection.

Semi-random thoughts

● Shaquille O'Neal traded to the Cleveland Cavaliers! Yes!

● I was invited to a political event called "Late Night." It starts at 8:30. No wonder so many politicians seem to be anti-nightlife. They don't know the first thing about it.

● I got called for jury duty. I ♥ jury duty. (I am a lawyer. I enjoy seeing the law at work.) It's even at a convenient date.

● Why are conservatives in favor of charter schools, saying it's good for the public schools to have competition, yet they are opposed to the government giving private health insurance some competition?

Plat du jour

Help needed for GENDA and DASA NOW!

NYers! Get GENDA and DASA voted on! Call the governor's office. 518-474-8390. Tell the Governor who you are, your zipcode, and that you are in favor of GENDA S2406, and DASA S1987A, and that you want to make sure that are included on the list of bills for any special session called by Governor Paterson. Make sure you mention the bill numbers! (This is very important!)

Thanks!

Plat du jour--guest submission

Joanne again.

Great! It's outdoors, so people can smoke

Obama to sign anti-smoking bill in Rose Garden

OK, I'll admit to taking a cheap shot in order to make a joke here. I really doubt anyone directly involved will be smoking at the ceremony, and smoking might very well be banned in the Rose Garden. In fact, I have no idea what the White House smoking rules are.

Plat du jour

Neo-Nazis 1, Jews 1

Road cleaned by neo-Nazis may be named for rabbi

Plat du jour--guest submission

Found on a cute, little Mini Cooper by former mHB member Carolyn Ann. This is the first of a large number of plates she has given to me. Thanks, Carolyn.

Living with mountain lions III

Chihuahuas Confront Cougar in SoCal Garage

Plat du jour--guest submission

Joanne keeps finding them.

Semi-random thoughts

● My bank wants me to put "Retired" for employer on forms I submit, not "None." I guess that makes a difference.

● I did a reply all to an e-mail I received, and got back an "Automatic Response" saying

Hello, I am away until February 28, 2007 and am unable to read your message.

● I hate it when people cc me on their replies to e-mails from others, without copying the original message. I'm left guessing what the original message said.

● The Indians actually climbed out of last place for 2 or 3 days, but they're back in the cellar now. The Central Division is so even they're only a game and a half out of third place, and 6.5 out of first.

● I generally stay away from all those silly Facebook quizzes, but sometimes I can't resist. I succumbed to the "Do You Make A Better Man or Woman?" quiz and got the result: You Are 48% Male, 52% Female. They got that one right.

Plat du jour

I think a fishnet bodysuit might qualify

From Overheard in New York:

Son to father: Daddy, do they sell Spiderman clothes in here?
Father: No, I am pretty sure they don't sell Spiderman stuff in here.
Son: Yes they do!

--Victoria's Secret

Plat du jour--guest submission

Joanne keeps finding them.

That's telling him

From Overheard in New York:

Male suit: See, look at her! (points at woman on BlackBerry) Women are more likely to get killed while texting than men. Men are always aware of their surroundings.
Female suit: No, men just can't walk and text at the same time. Women are better at multi-tasking.
Male suit: Alright, since you're so good at multi-tasking, suck my dick and make me a sandwich.
Female suit: I've got news for you. If you keep eating sandwiches, even hookers won't want to suck your dick.

Plat du jour--guest submission

A wonderful plate.
Another find by Joanne.

Is there a copy editor in the house?

I got an ad today for a product which will remain nameless to protect the guilty. It read:

It is proven to withstand rain, wind and even precipitation.

Plat du jour--guest find

I'm sure Howard University is very proud to have graduated a thug.

I find it curious, though, that the license plate holder says "Alumni." If it were the Howard University Alumni Association the plural would be fine, or if the car were co-owned by two or more Howard grads. But I suspect it belongs to a Howard alumnus, who never took ancient Greek from its Classics Department. (I doubt an alumna would have such a plate, but I'm just going by gender stereotypes here.)

Found by Victoria Marinelli

Oh, no! What am I going to do for foundation?

P&G phasing out Max Factor in US

Maybe that's why one of the Duane Reades in my neighborhood didn't have a Max Factor section when I went last week. I did get one from a different store, and ordered more online. I think I'll order a whole bunch more.

Plat du jour

Could this belong to Murray Hill, the hardest-working middle-aged man in show business?

Headline of the day

Family axes wedding plans, Egyptian cuts off organ

Apparently they won't use "penis" in a headline. Stupid.

Weekly free associations

1. Nursery :: School


2. Side effect :: Possible


3. Heart to heart :: Talk


4. Try :: Try again


5. Hog :: Warts


6. Symptom :: Fever


7. Collide :: Conduct


8. Fury :: Sound


9. Incorporated :: Limited


10. Summer :: Winter

HT to Unconscious Mutterings.

This is hilarious!

Sometimes music videos seem to have absolutely nothing to do with the song that's being sung. Someone took one of these, and rewrote the song to correspond to the video--a rather weird video to begin with. It's great.

HT to Justin Bond via Facebook.
(EDIT: I see that Cleo also posted this on the myHusbandBetty boards yesterday, but I overlooked it there.)

Plat du jour--guest submission

Not bloody likely.

Another one from Joanne.

Living with wild turkeys V

Wild turkey crashes through window of Wis. home

Memorial Day at Boscobel

View of the Hudson from the lawn of Boscobel, where we went Monday. That's West Point across the river by the tree trunk. (Click on the picture to enlarge it.)

Weekly free associations

1. Lisa :: Mona


2. Hope :: Faith


3. Irene :: Cara


4. Tony :: Randall


5. Anna :: Kournikova


6. Dolly :: Parton


7. Laura :: Ingles


8. Debbie :: Reynolds


9. Wilson :: Phillips


10. Paula :: Abdul

HT to Unconscious Mutterings.

Semi-random thoughts

● Facebook keeps suggesting people for me to be friends with because we "both live in New York." Yeah, and 8,000,000 other people as well. We all have so much in common.

● Two-and-a-half years ago I switched from using Discover to American Express Blue Cash as my main credit card. I see in the fine print at the end of my latest bill that Amex will be lowering its rebate on spending above $6500/year from 1.5% to 1.25%. It's still a little better than Discover, but it sure doesn't make me happy.

● Gosh, the Hubble space telescope is 19 years old? Time sure flies.

● Latest tweet from the world of burlesque:

Just took a stiletto in the head from @helenburkett in group dance number!

Who would think burlesque was such a hazardous occupation?

USB teddy bear holds data, scares children

Source

Plat du jour

New York City to Fire Island, I guess.

Weekly free associations

1. Vex :: Bother


2. Relapse :: Bad


3. Twinkle :: Toes


4. Crawls :: Walks


5. Optimistic moment :: ??


6. Cage :: Fight


7. Superwoman :: Supergirl


8. Personal :: Record


9. Vapor :: Trail


10. Grocery store :: Supermarket

HT to Unconscious Mutterings.

Liz Smith on Dick Cheney (warning: snark attack)

I was taping my little portion of the “Lips & Ears” show at Fox this week and the technicians had such a bright light on me that I was unable to read my script because of the light blindness. When I’d try to go back to it, it blurred.

“What’s the idea behind this new light?” I asked the guys. “Oh, this is set up for Dick Cheney. He is coming in right after you to be filmed.”

Dick Cheney loves super-bright lights shined in his eyes? Well, I guess it figures.

--Liz Smith's column

Is this an instruction sign for drivers?

Burlesque performers are salivating over this.

HT to Gigi La Femme

Headline of the day

New weapon turns fire ants into headless zombies

This is a real headline. And not in a supermarket tabloid.

RUNNER-UP: Spanish Queen tries to help bereaved elephant

Plat du jour--guest submission

Another one from Joanne.

Remember, first class postage goes up today

It now costs 44 cents to mail a letter (unless you stocked up on Forever Stamps). I remember when it was 3 cents.

I'm old.

(Non-) word of the day

inclusivizing

I ♥ NY

Young woman: Do you need help crossing the street?
Elderly woman: No. It's fucking red.

--96th & Broadway

From Overheard in New York

Weekly free associations

1. Again :: and again


2. Shower :: spring


3. Flirting :: no-no


4. Moving on :: moving up


5. Rachel :: Betty


6. Chips :: Ahoy


7. Texting :: Sexting


8. Feel better :: soon


9. Cashmere :: sweater


10. Sucked :: up

HT to Unconscious Mutterings.

Plat du jour

Star Trek micro-review

Two thumbs up--though I think it could be subtitled "Waiting for Scotty."

Victory for the DD's in the UK

Marks & Spencer caves in, cuts prices on big bras

Plat du jour (stolen)

I grabbed this from Victoria Marinelli's blog (I did tell her I was stealing it).

Happy Odd Day!

It's 5/7/9.

Brooklyn: the ecstasy and the agony

This is the second day in a row I'm going to Brooklyn. Last night I saw a burlesque show (a triple bill, actually). Today I'm going to the dentist. I doubt the hygienist will take off her clothes.

Headline of the day (not)

Obamas take a walk, holding hands in the evening

This is news?

Weekly free associations

1. Avoid :: Risk


2. Castle :: Rook


3. Episode :: One


4. Limited :: Edition


5. Nail polish :: OPI


6. Dip :: Shit


7. Share :: Equally


8. Damage :: Control


9. Improper :: Advances


10. Handle :: With Care

HT to Unconscious Mutterings.

The Postal Service has really gone to the dogs

A really boring story

Archbishop Dolan Blesses Tunnel Boring Machines

It must be a very slow news day.

NYC people! Protect your identity!

Sunday is the city's 2nd Annual Shred Fest!

Haul your old bank statements, credit card receipts, pictures of your ex'es or anything else on paper, to one of the mobile shredders and watch them disappear. Last year I got rid of 5 cartons of stuff.

(However, do hold on to your old tax returns. There's no statute of limitations on failure to file, so be prepared just in case the IRS loses track of your return from 1988.)

HT to David Marc Fischer

Plat du jour

Headline of the Day

Giant Tortoise Found In Bronx Backyard

Follow-up: Giant African Tortoise Found in Bronx Backyard Reunites with Owner

Of course he was charged with battery

Radio Shack employee punches customer

Amtrak rant, continued

Now I've learned that if Amtrak reschedules your train, not only do they fail to tell you about it, they also remove your reservation from their automated ticketing system. You have to go and get your tickets from an agent--after waiting on a 20+ minute line and almost missing your train. (The reason I didn't learn about this last time was that my train had already left when I arrived at Penn Station, so I bypassed the ticket machine and went straight to the line.) Grrr.

Semi-random thoughts

● My health insurance company sent me a notice of a modification saying:

Section XIII. Definitions have been updated to include the following definition of Spouse:

Spouse: A person's partner (husband or wife) in a legal marriage. For purposes of Dependent eligibility under this Certificate, spouse includes same sex partners who are married in jurisdictions that recognize same sex marriages.

How nice.

● I just got a notice that tickets to the Radio City Christmas Spectacular go on sale this week. Rushing the season a bit, I'd say.

● Now two weeks in a row I've had to choose between seeing two performers playing at the exact same time. One usually has a monthly show, but the other three seldom play in New York, at least on weeknights.

Plat du jour

What is the matter with Amtrak?

Amtrak did it to me again--rescheduled my train without informing me (they have my e-mail address and my phone #). Fortunately I knew to check, and this time it is only a 10 minute difference--so I probably would be OK. Last time they moved my train up 30 minutes, and I just missed it.

Headline of the day

Swiss heartland voters ban nude hiking

Weekly free associations

1. Soul :: Food


2. Fold :: Dotted line


3. Breakup :: Marriage


4. Will :: Power


5. Fond :: Farewell


6. Powers :: Boothe


7. Ho-hum :: Drum


8. Hustle :: Do the


9. Avenue :: Street


10. Tower :: Records

HT to Unconscious Mutterings.

Plat du jour

Just think of the possible jokes

Cash-Strapped Bronx Zoo Lays off Animals

A moose, a bear, and an elephant walk into an unemployment office...

Misspelling of the day

I-Oda

Plat du jour

The really interesting thing about this plate was the URL on the truck it was on:

Headline win

Colo. man convicted of murdering transgender woman
Yes, Angie Zapata was a woman.

Another reason not to go bra-less

Detroit woman's underwire bra deflects bullet

Living with wild hogs

Florida:Woman attacked by 200-pound wild hog in her yard

Headline fail

4 new ancient Egypt temples discovered in Sinai

Plat du jour

This is one way to remember a date. I'm guessing it's someone's anniversary.

Weekly free associations

1. Lease :: Rent


2. Dead :: Grateful


3. Removed :: Taken


4. Broke :: Busted


5. Lips :: Restaurant


6. Flight :: Time


7. Three hours :: Give or take


8. Give :: Take


9. Technical :: Difficulties


10. Hurry :: Up

HT to Unconscious Mutterings.

Plat du jour

CU L8R 2. (They spell funny in NJ.)

Semi-random thoughts

● I wish the media would stop romanticizing the Somali hijackers by calling them pirates. They are just organized crime at sea.

● Last week one of my friends said on Facebook that she

found out this afternoon that her lunchtime Monday meeting in Addis Ababa has been shifted to Brussels, which is much more convenient.

Some people live a lot more interesting lives than I do.

● I saw an ad for a new reality TV show "The Cougar" in the subway. It said something like "One older woman, 20 younger men." Well, to my 60-year-old eyes, she looks just about as young as the guys.

● There's an old joke that Washington was "First in war, first in peace, and last in the American League." This goes back to the days before they divided the baseball major leagues into divisions, and when Washington D.C. had the Senators as its team. Today Washington has the Nationals, and they're in the National League. But they're still last, with the worst record of any team there. The worst in the American League (so far) is my Cleveland Indians.

● Friday night I saw a production of Tartuffe with my wife, where the title character, a falsely pious charlatan, had his servant cover up the parts of tapestries showing people is various states of undress.

I was amused to realize that the theatre was just a few dozen yards from the one where I was on Wednesday, where I saw a burlesque show where all the performers (well, the female ones), got completely undressed.