Hmmmm. when you make penis shaped cupcakes, do you ice the whole thing or just the balls?
HT to Paige Dula
Not just for the dyslexic.
Hmmmm. when you make penis shaped cupcakes, do you ice the whole thing or just the balls?
Hipster to 50-something tourist who is blocking the way: Hey, lady, where you from?
Woman, proudly: Kansas.
Hipster: Well, Dorothy, this is not Kansas. This is Times Square, New York City, now get the fuck out of the way! (crowd cheers)
Tourist, taking photo to woman walking in front of camera: Hey! You ruined my picture!
Aggravated city woman: And you ruined my city!
--Grand Central Station
GOVERNMENT 2.0: NEW TECHNOLOGY FOR A NEW DEMOCRACYalong with other computer/internet-based proposals. But I really have to wonder how good he and he staff will be at these things--the e-mail started "Dear [Firstname]."
•Implement “Open 311” by making 311 accessible over the Internet in real-time.
•Make government information available in real-time through an “Open Data Directive” to leave the era of burdensome freedom of information requests behind.
when you start using words that a ph.d. candidate doesn't know in your facebook status then...A PhD candidate!?!! I learned that word in junior high school (I think it was in connection with an excerpt of Carlyle's Sartor Resartus that we read for English class). Anyhow, I checked his profile and found out that he goes to Stony Brook--so I would take any PhD granted there with a good-sized grain of salt.
(well, i don't know but i wanted to point out that I have no idea what "sartorial" means)
Asian girl #1: Hey, did you guys smell that in that building back there?Source
Orthodox Jewish girl and guy: No, what?
Asian girl #1: It totally smelled like bacon!
Asian girl #2: Yeah! You're right, oh...
Orthodox Jewish girl and guy: Yeah... hm. So that's what bacon smells like?
Dear gym teacher of 1984, Sorry I went along with the 8th grade in calling you Thunder Thighs. Please know I have them now too. Love, me.--@vmarinelli
Bible thumper: I love you all... even you, sir.
Man: I hate you.
--A Train
Mother:"You're President of the abstinence club!"
Daughter: "Well, I wasn't planning on running for a second term."
Jew for Jesus, holding out pamphlet: Here, have one.
Woman: Hmm?
Jew for Jesus: It's about Jesus!
Woman: Oh, I'm not interested in him. I thought it was about Michael Jackson.


Sharp was known in Washington as one of the best lawyers nobody knew.
When the husband and kids are gone is a great time to let my hair down & do crazy stuff they'd never understand. Now eating brussel sprouts!
Bimbette #1: So then I found out he hooked up with Amy while I was peeing in the bathroom.
Bimbette #2: Did you still sleep with him?
Bimbette #1: Yeah, of course! Why should I let her have all the fun? I just don't know what to do now, though cause I feel like I had her sloppy seconds.
Random lady sitting in front of them: Girls can you shut the hell up already? I'm trying to enjoy a quiet train ride home. No one here cares who you slept with, we all know you're gonna be with a different guy next week, anyway.
(girls jump up and run out of train car, one in tears)
--Penn Station
I'm driving I'm driving - oops guess I shouldn't be tweeting :)YYYYYYYY:
@XXXXXXXX Yay! You get your license back???
Girl: I told my mom that I would probably be alone for the rest of my life. Yesterday she sent me an e-mail with a link to petfinder.com.
--Student Center, Barnard