Monday, June 29, 2015

Today's news round-up

Good News
Bad News

Cartoon of the day

Rhymes with Orange

Texts from last night

(620): I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going? http://tfl.nu/0dn7

(615): The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person http://tfl.nu/64c8

(407): He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me. http://tfl.nu/a7jm

(540): Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys. http://tfl.nu/72bo

(337): Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too." http://tfl.nu/wi1y

(513): where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet. http://tfl.nu/hb26


Friday, June 26, 2015

My 16th warning about Walmart

Police Chief Papania: Open carry situation could have turned into 'violent misunderstanding'

Walmart has no policy against carrying guns into its stores. It's a dangerous place.

Animal headline of the day

Moose Sex Corridor Project gets help from United States

Today's news round-up

Good News
Bad News

Yay!


Recent news round-up, Part 3

Good News
Bad News

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Recent news round-up, Part 2

Good News
Bad News

Recent news round-up, Part 1

Good News
Bad News

Monday, June 22, 2015

Texts from last night

(504): I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment. http://tfl.nu/hun6

Fathers' Day

(518): What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids? http://tfl.nu/elim

(717): Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful. http://tfl.nu/ntpu

Today's news round-up

Good News

Sunday, June 21, 2015

Texts from last night

(630): Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid. http://tfl.nu/7ofe

(731): After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep. http://tfl.nu/u5lu

(+61): ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR http://tfl.nu/lv16

Today's news round-up

Good News
Bad News

Micro movie review

Testament of Youth A retelling of British author Vera Brittain's book on her experiences during World War I. I saw the miniseries of this decades ago, so I vaguely remembered what happened. This version, though less than half the length, does tell her story pretty well. The acting and cinematography are excellent. It's not a happy story, but one worth seeing.

Sunday, June 14, 2015

Comic of the day

Close to Home

Texts from last night

(318): Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that. http://tfl.nu/2447

(+44): I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now? http://tfl.nu/egr3

(406): I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life. http://tfl.nu/r5a6

(203): my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere. http://tfl.nu/8egs

(727): He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What? http://tfl.nu/g0pt

(612): You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time. http://tfl.nu/jtia

(610): Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night? http://tfl.nu/mq9l

(914): How's everyone else's ass tattoo today? http://tfl.nu/vkhm

(240): It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller http://tfl.nu/ja4l

(614): You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME" http://tfl.nu/qi5s

(706): I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds http://tfl.nu/6tnd

(806): You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on http://tfl.nu/6vm9

(402): Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am? http://tfl.nu/yif1

(937): Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time. http://tfl.nu/d2x4

(330): If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger. http://tfl.nu/6uzx

(224): We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done" http://tfl.nu/fx0o

(902): Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........ http://tfl.nu/te7x

(727): I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room? http://tfl.nu/ehy8

Animal headline of the day

Bull yak flees at sight of bear, leaving behind cows, calves

Saturday, May 30, 2015

Today's news round-up

Good News
Bad News

Animal headline of the day

Police in India arrested a pigeon suspected of spying for Pakistan

Yesterday's news round-up

Good News
Bad News

Monday, May 25, 2015

Texts from last night--it's been a long time

Shakespeare

(713): Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink. http://tfl.nu/3gau

(505): Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING. http://tfl.nu/7nsl

You were so drunk...

(212): You tried paying your tab with the coaster http://tfl.nu/mvrj

(302): You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt. http://tfl.nu/6dux

Walk of shame

(636): Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work http://tfl.nu/847y

(603): walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang.... http://tfl.nu/pp82

Random

(413): did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick? http://tfl.nu/ipzm

(585): I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun http://tfl.nu/ilba

(270): Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit http://tfl.nu/12d1

(814): I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment http://tfl.nu/ixzz

(641): The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out http://tfl.nu/o5e6

(740): All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless. http://tfl.nu/acno

(614): So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired. http://tfl.nu/8ind

Recent news round-up

Good News
Bad News

Saturday, May 23, 2015

Micro movie review

Far from the Madding Crowd--Thomas Hardy's novel about a young woman in rural Victorian England, and the three men who wanted her. I read the book and saw the Julie Christie/Alan Bates film version back in the 60's. This one is a decent telling of the original story, though the heroine is far more feminist than I remember. Its biggest problem is that the film is very rushed--this version is 50 minutes shorter than the earlier one. The acting is fine, the scenery is very good, and if you like costume dramas you'll enjoy this one.

Monday, May 04, 2015

Sunday, May 03, 2015

Plat du jour



To 11, I presume.

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Recent news round-up, Part 2

Good News
Bad News

Recent news round-up, Part 1

Good News
Bad News

Monday, April 20, 2015

Micro movie review

Woman in Gold The true(ish) story of the recovery of some of the artwork stolen by the Nazis from the family of Maria Altmann, finely played by Helen Mirren. The main item at issue was Gustav Klimt's famous portrait of her aunt, Adele Bloch-Bauer, which by 1998 had become a national treasure of Austria (renaming it "Woman in Gold," thus obscuring its Jewish connection):
I remember the years-long case, though not in any detail. As much as the film is the story of Altmann's restitution battle, it is just as much the story of the revival of her memory of the events in Vienna when the Nazis came in, and her new-found desire to make Austria face up to what it did to its Jewish citizens. The film does have its faults, not the least that the outcome is quite predictable. However, I found it quite absorbing, even knowing the results. Mirren's performance carries the whole thing.

I don't think it is that much of a spoiler to say that Altmann was successful in her fight--in fact, the painting is hanging in a museum five or six hundred feet from where I am sitting right now.

Friday, April 17, 2015

Plat du jour--guest submission



Someone from the Bronx.

Found by Joanne.

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Today's news round-up

Good News
Bad News

Animal headline of the day

Chimp Tushi turns drone-buster in Dutch Burgers' Zoo

Recent news round-up

Good News