Monday, October 27, 2014

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Friday, October 17, 2014

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Throwback Thursday



Hedda Lettuce and me, about 2001-2002--before she went green, and I went auburn, er, blonde, um, black.

Saturday, October 11, 2014

Saturday, October 04, 2014

Only a few good Texts From Last Night this time

(720): Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand http://tfl.nu/lbum
(801): At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost http://tfl.nu/j4xa
(647): The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks. http://tfl.nu/cwoi

Friday, October 03, 2014

Today's news round-up, Part 2

Good News
Bad News

Today's news round-up, Part 1

Good News
Bad News

Animal headline of the day

Reports: China body-searched 10,000 pigeons

Wednesday, October 01, 2014

Today's news round-up, Part 2

Good News
Bad News

Today's news round-up, Part 1

Good News

Micro movie review

The Hundred-Foot Journey: Totally predictable, sometimes absurd, it is a very well-made and enjoyable piece of fluff.

Monday, September 29, 2014

Today's news round-up

Good News
Bad News

Some more Texts from Last Night

(518): Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys. http://tfl.nu/ykpm
(908): I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work. http://tfl.nu/aq0t
(304): JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK http://tfl.nu/yt7k
(615): I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask? http://tfl.nu/0fir
(409): I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots. http://tfl.nu/9ntb
(517): Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out http://tfl.nu/rbge
(609): The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here. http://tfl.nu/fl13

Friday, September 26, 2014

Living with bears XLV

Canada: This Mailman Gives the Greatest Excuse Of All Time For Not Delivering a Package, Bear hanging around Port Coquitlam home concerns residents

Massachusetts: Bear kills Chelmsford man's chickens, duck My sister's office is only 2 or 3 miles from there!

Today's news round-up

Good News
Bad News

Semi-random thoughts

  • I sign few of the online petitions that I am presented with, because most of them are addressed to people who couldn't care less what the general public thinks about what they are doing. Almost all the ones that I do sign are addressed to businesses. But even some of those fail to gain my support. For instance, I got one addressed to a bank which asks that it absolve a co-signer of a loan from his responsibility to pay it, because the primary debtor died. No. Not even though this was a student loan, and the student was his daughter. He was not just "helping his daughter" take out the loan--he promised to pay off the loan if she didn't, for whatever reason. It makes no difference that federal student loans are forgiven in such circumstances. He made a deal, he has to stick to it. 
  • It's amazing how many of my entertainer friends had pictures with Joan Rivers to post. 
  • I got some spam titled, "Would you sleep with a Married Woman?" Of course I would. I sleep with my wife every night.
  • I'm flabbergasted by the recent jump in readers of my glob from Japan and New Zealand. I haven't written anything about either country. 

Thursday, September 18, 2014

This is literally funny



From sixteencandlesband on Facebook

Today's news round-up, Part 2

Good News

Today's news round-up, Part 1

Good News
Bad News

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Animal headline of the day

George the goldfish gets life-saving tumor surgery

Today's news round-up, Part 2

Good News

Today's news round-up, Part 1

Good News
Bad News

Living with moose VII

New York: Moose spotted in Fleischmanns

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Today's news round-up, Part 2

Good News
Bad News

Today's news round-up, Part 1

Good News
Bad News

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Correction of the day

An earlier version of this article misstated the location of the Hudson Valley. It is in southern New York, not western.

From the New York Times

Tuesday, September 09, 2014

Today's news round-up, Part 2

Good News
Bad News 

Today's news round-up, Part 1

Good News
Sort of Good, Sort of Bad, News
Bad News

Plat du jour--guest submission



Found by Joanne.

Thursday, September 04, 2014

Tuesday, September 02, 2014

The return of Texts From Last Night!

It's been a long time since I posted any of these. Here are some of my favorites from the last few days.

(618): We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that. http://tfl.nu/jp22

(724): Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating. http://tfl.nu/l251

(303): Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability" http://tfl.nu/w8b2

(904): That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again.  Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk. http://tfl.nu/4nud


LAST NIGHT

(214):  Woke up in bushes  at UT didn't know I was Austin last night http://tfl.nu/5aj8

(248): I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night http://tfl.nu/poxt

(212): Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants. http://tfl.nu/1uem

(519): You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear http://tfl.nu/17oq

(615): I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
(1-615): Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from... http://tfl.nu/z1jn

(305): Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said  "eat me" on it? http://tfl.nu/7lec


UNDERPANTS

(919): I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock http://tfl.nu/ok2j

(686): I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain? http://tfl.nu/11qh

(727): why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter? http://tfl.nu/8q6n

(909): I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire http://tfl.nu/2hlt


DICK PICS

(419): Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know. http://tfl.nu/qfoz

(902): Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena. http://tfl.nu/gxq5


AND FINALLY

(801): Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think http://tfl.nu/vzmp

(309): Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me http://tfl.nu/hnwf

Today's news round-up

Good News
Bad News

Animal headline of theday

Russia confirms death of five geckos on space sex mission

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Today's news round-up

Good News
Bad News

Semi-random thoughts

  • I'd complain about all the ice bucket challenge things littering up the internet, but I'm just as tired of seeing people complaining about them. I guess I'm just as bad.
  • Is a recipe that calls for just the egg whites racist?
  • I have learned two things about IDs recently. First, many countries, including much of Europe, require US passports to be at least six months from expiration for entry. Second, standard NY driver's licenses are no longer valid for entry into Federal buildings. This will also be true for airport security, but not until at least 2016.