Thursday, September 18, 2014

This is literally funny



From sixteencandlesband on Facebook

Today's news round-up, Part 2

Good News

Today's news round-up, Part 1

Good News
Bad News

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Animal headline of the day

George the goldfish gets life-saving tumor surgery

Today's news round-up, Part 2

Good News

Today's news round-up, Part 1

Good News
Bad News

Living with moose VII

New York: Moose spotted in Fleischmanns

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Today's news round-up, Part 2

Good News
Bad News

Today's news round-up, Part 1

Good News
Bad News

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Correction of the day

An earlier version of this article misstated the location of the Hudson Valley. It is in southern New York, not western.

From the New York Times

Tuesday, September 09, 2014

Today's news round-up, Part 2

Good News
Bad News 

Today's news round-up, Part 1

Good News
Sort of Good, Sort of Bad, News
Bad News

Plat du jour--guest submission



Found by Joanne.

Thursday, September 04, 2014

Tuesday, September 02, 2014

The return of Texts From Last Night!

It's been a long time since I posted any of these. Here are some of my favorites from the last few days.

(618): We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that. http://tfl.nu/jp22

(724): Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating. http://tfl.nu/l251

(303): Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability" http://tfl.nu/w8b2

(904): That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again.  Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk. http://tfl.nu/4nud


LAST NIGHT

(214):  Woke up in bushes  at UT didn't know I was Austin last night http://tfl.nu/5aj8

(248): I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night http://tfl.nu/poxt

(212): Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants. http://tfl.nu/1uem

(519): You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear http://tfl.nu/17oq

(615): I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
(1-615): Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from... http://tfl.nu/z1jn

(305): Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said  "eat me" on it? http://tfl.nu/7lec


UNDERPANTS

(919): I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock http://tfl.nu/ok2j

(686): I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain? http://tfl.nu/11qh

(727): why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter? http://tfl.nu/8q6n

(909): I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire http://tfl.nu/2hlt


DICK PICS

(419): Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know. http://tfl.nu/qfoz

(902): Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena. http://tfl.nu/gxq5


AND FINALLY

(801): Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think http://tfl.nu/vzmp

(309): Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me http://tfl.nu/hnwf

Today's news round-up

Good News
Bad News

Animal headline of theday

Russia confirms death of five geckos on space sex mission

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Today's news round-up

Good News
Bad News

Semi-random thoughts

  • I'd complain about all the ice bucket challenge things littering up the internet, but I'm just as tired of seeing people complaining about them. I guess I'm just as bad.
  • Is a recipe that calls for just the egg whites racist?
  • I have learned two things about IDs recently. First, many countries, including much of Europe, require US passports to be at least six months from expiration for entry. Second, standard NY driver's licenses are no longer valid for entry into Federal buildings. This will also be true for airport security, but not until at least 2016.

Monday, August 18, 2014

Semi-random thoughts

  • I'm always amazed how people will comment on posts without reading the previous comments. I'm not even talking about the ones where there have been dozens of previous comments. Are people so lazy that they can't be bothered to read a half dozen short comments?
  • After seven years, I've gotten a new computer. It's an HP "desktop." Quotation marks because it goes under the desk, not on top. There are a number of things I could say about this change, but for the moment I'll just mention one, which really surprised me. I love the mouse that came with it. It looks like a zillion other black mice, without even a logo. It's a tiny bit longer and wider than the Logitech I've been using. I thought this might be a problem, but it's not--maybe because it's not as thick as the old one. But the big difference is the shape of the sides. The Logitech has slightly convex, slightly inward sloping sides. The HP's sides are concave. It takes a small amount of inward force to keep a grip on the Logitech. It takes no force at all with the HP--the overhang of the concave sides keep my thumb and ring finger in place. The result is all of my effort goes to moving the mouse, and none to keeping my hand on it. It's great. 
  • There should be a rule for all journalists: If you put a Manhattan address that's on an avenue in your article, you have to put in the cross street.

Today's news round-up

Bad News

Animal headline of the day

Owl enters 10th story apartment, kills canary

Friday, August 15, 2014

130,000 visitors!

Thanks for paying a visit!

Maybe the only cat video I'll ever post


Today's news round-up

Good News
Bad News

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Glob anniversary

Today is the ninth anniversary of this blog. As of this writing it's had 129,892 visitors! If people keep visiting, I'll keep posting.

Wednesday, August 06, 2014

Question of the day

Why is it that some things are described as unwieldy, but nothing is ever described as wieldy?

Monday, August 04, 2014

Today's news round-up

Good News
Bad News

Question of the day

Why is the New York Metropolitan Transit Authority putting in Wi-Fi and cellular service on the subway platforms while broadcasting police announcements advising passengers to hide their electronic devices?

Sunday, August 03, 2014

Today's news round-up

Good News
Bad News

Plat du jour--guest submission



Found by Joanne.

Sunday, July 20, 2014

Friday, July 18, 2014

Breakout!

I just discovered you can play Breakout by entering "atari breakout" in Google Images. That was my first video game. I could play it for hours (I still have the stand-alone Breakout box that Atari sold, in some box somewhere).

If don't post for a few weeks, that's what I'll be doing.

Today's news round-up

Good News
Bad News

The bartender didn't get it

A couple of nights ago I went to a bar and the bartender was wearing a t-shirt that said "Drinking Consultants Since 1998." I asked her what consultants taste like.

Monday, July 14, 2014

Happy Bastille Day!



It's Bastille Day, which marks the beginning of the French Revolution in 1789--their 4th of July.

And happy anniversary to Helen and Rachel, and happy birthday to Johanna!

Saturday, July 12, 2014

3,000 posts!

I see that yesterday's was my 3,000th post. I don't really write much of anything any more, but people do seem to keep reading. So I'll keep posting my headlines and license plates and anything else that catches my fancy but doesn't take me very much time. Thanks for sticking around.

Friday, July 11, 2014

Today's news round-up

Good News
Bad News

Friday, July 04, 2014