Sunday, October 17, 2010

For those who have been waiting patiently for more TFLNs

(312): You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles

(270): The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower

(919): Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.

(856): My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?

(412): I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.

(850): I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?

(780): I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you

(970): She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.

(513): walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am

(978): Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room

(845): What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know

(817): I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.

(845): no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.

(360): Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day

(708): You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....

(303): you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.

(541): You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.

(202): I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic

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