YOU'RE NEVER TOO OLD FOR SEX

I have been getting a catalog called Healthy Living for some time now. It targets the mature (OK, I'll say it, the older) market, featuring things like folding canes, anti-wrinkle creams and denture cushions. But there's another category that has been slowly making its way into the catalog over the years: "sexual health" supplies.

It started very discreetly, with a plain, tapered cylindrical "massager," which they showed being used by a woman on her neck. (Yeah, right.) Now there's 4½ pages of merchandise, including a "Dual Pleasure Vibrator" ("Stimulates both pleasure zones at once"), the "Love Pill" ("Safe for those with high blood pressure or diabetes"), and the "Dual Pleasure Ring" (a vibrator which "sensuously grips both the penis and testicles"). There are videos, too. There's even more stuff on their website.

I'm guessing it won't be long before they start selling vibrator-equipped incontinence panties--a waterproof vibrator, of course.