TFLN roundup

(304): Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.

http://tfl.nu/t3n8

(360): All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.

http://tfl.nu/fujj

(303): Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.

http://tfl.nu/3qfc

(937): Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either

http://tfl.nu/8shq

(903): Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later

http://tfl.nu/a1zy

(845): so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date

(845): i guess it runs in the family.

http://tfl.nu/gfn4

(773): Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.

http://tfl.nu/dmbr

(507): Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.

http://tfl.nu/ydba

(860): we've started having sober sex

(203): you really do like him

http://tfl.nu/ocmd

(312): I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.

http://tfl.nu/6of9

(843): The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.

http://tfl.nu/6x6n

WORLD CUP SECTION:

(914): just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.

http://tfl.nu/5aat

(925): After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.

http://tfl.nu/n6kw

(323): I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning

http://tfl.nu/dryp

(209): Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.

http://tfl.nu/af2i

(913): You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup

http://tfl.nu/bt9z