This week's TFLNs

(631): Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?

http://tfl.nu/xi2s

(330): Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.

http://tfl.nu/yv9g

(518): my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks

http://tfl.nu/8135

(314): I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...

http://tfl.nu/a15y

(414): The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.

http://tfl.nu/497c

(910): He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.

http://tfl.nu/wbkv

(714): All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.

http://tfl.nu/eanx

(443): does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?

http://tfl.nu/0adv

(778): I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.

http://tfl.nu/jn8b

(252): I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.

http://tfl.nu/kwke

(570): So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash

http://tfl.nu/zmae

(816): why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011

http://tfl.nu/szze

(918): Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR

http://tfl.nu/fkjm

(512): Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.

http://tfl.nu/3ijz

(949): Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?

http://tfl.nu/e2vj