TFLNs

(405): New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
(580): ....this is what your political science major is getting you? http://tfl.nu/c72s

(916): So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones. http://tfl.nu/pw89

(352): Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room? http://tfl.nu/ie68

(916): He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex. http://tfl.nu/zvxf

(717): He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster http://tfl.nu/7ph6

(303): why does he always try to puke into shot glasses http://tfl.nu/7wx4

(925): I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
(1-925): We just have a real special relationship. http://tfl.nu/gnex

(515): nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right http://tfl.nu/dqke

(973): How did you even find out?
(1-973): Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
(973): Oh. http://tfl.nu/227x

Lastly, there is

(609): and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier. http://tfl.nu/u9m6

which reminds me of the old story that George Burns cheated on his wife, Gracie Allen, one single time. Burns realized that Allen had found out about it, so he gave her an expensive silver tea set as a silent apology. Years later she told a friend, "I wish George would cheat on me again. I could use a new tea set."