TFLN time

(801): "Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much. http://tfl.nu/4lhq

(260): DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER http://tfl.nu/2v94

(312): I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises. http://tfl.nu/7cml

(407): work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss. http://tfl.nu/700o

(541): I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail" http://tfl.nu/tdde

(602): She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob http://tfl.nu/kuny

(917): hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog. http://tfl.nu/99w0

(718): She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on. http://tfl.nu/7c2k

(316): At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me.  I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped.  Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?! http://tfl.nu/842p

(757): is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle? http://tfl.nu/66tk

(631): im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night http://tfl.nu/im54

(214): And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy http://tfl.nu/y3l1

(802): Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents http://tfl.nu/oucv

(619): Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by... http://tfl.nu/g8gw

(289): If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf. http://tfl.nu/kp2h