This week's TFLNs

(210): The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas http://tfl.nu/zrzb

(727): The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands. http://tfl.nu/kwg7

(910): I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything. http://tfl.nu/veiz

(603): Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight http://tfl.nu/77hx

(651): Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door? http://tfl.nu/hi0q

(408): You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you. http://tfl.nu/r2tt

(479): I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning! http://tfl.nu/musz

(251): Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now. http://tfl.nu/uhhh

(814): My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible. http://tfl.nu/fwco

(253): When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?! http://tfl.nu/f0hc

(210): Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it. http://tfl.nu/xm4g

(816): Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
(816): I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it. http://tfl.nu/9xew

(780): Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job? http://tfl.nu/b4va

(949): That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it http://tfl.nu/rt9p

(604): The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her. http://tfl.nu/woml

(423): Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
(707): ...did you eat that brownie? http://tfl.nu/j241