TFLNs! I know you've been waiting for them

I can see how many of you enter my blog through my TFLN posts.

(270): Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together. http://tfl.nu/2jfm

(604): So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights.  I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it.  All he did was smirk. http://tfl.nu/87wr

(607): just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out http://tfl.nu/axwq

(954): My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted?? http://tfl.nu/5rk7

(313): I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/g93i

(602): I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night. http://tfl.nu/7hpm

(250): I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest http://tfl.nu/zut9

(365): As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
(1-365): I was judging you. http://tfl.nu/3tin

(740): Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves. http://tfl.nu/uw3n

(842): we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone http://tfl.nu/yvho

(209): She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana. http://tfl.nu/10jo

(206): Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man.  And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago. http://tfl.nu/wvly

(570): I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo. http://tfl.nu/a7p8

(612): I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house http://tfl.nu/z7wf

(404): STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing... http://tfl.nu/ooo5

(845): Make me a sandwich
(301): The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich. http://tfl.nu/al2a

(317): The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often. http://tfl.nu/fdr3

(337): I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up. http://tfl.nu/g5uf