Considering how long it's been, surprisingly few good TFLNs

(864): I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in http://tfl.nu/mz6f

(805): So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
(1-805): Sweet. Did I win?
(805): Youre hungover arent you? http://tfl.nu/l89i

(818): The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me. http://tfl.nu/w1nr

(252): i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no. http://tfl.nu/99ae

(989): I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep. http://tfl.nu/zu0y

(215): I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up http://tfl.nu/xoz1

(801): There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume. http://tfl.nu/bk3r

(217): You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you http://tfl.nu/uqrj

(720): Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something. http://tfl.nu/z9g9

(419): Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
(1-419): Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly. http://tfl.nu/ok5v

(609): Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him. http://tfl.nu/6jaw

(717): I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan http://tfl.nu/f98a

(703): Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
(571): I'd say they're off to a great start! http://tfl.nu/1lyt

(519): My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!! http://tfl.nu/hi1l

(+44): He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again! http://tfl.nu/ztd6

(561): I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line? http://tfl.nu/0ivn

(212): The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard.  I can't believe I believed you. http://tfl.nu/c03k

(512):  I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone http://tfl.nu/z79l

(696): Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
(451): Some ppl might frown upon it  but theyre prudes http://tfl.nu/39ll