Wisconsin beat Nebraska. Nebraska beat Michigan State. Michigan State beat Wisconsin.
We beat each other to a pulp.
4 days ago
Not just for the dyslexic.
(240): Apparently you can coat check a keg. http://tfl.nu/sdmi
(512): That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
(210): It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
(512): Is your card paying for my plan b? http://tfl.nu/703j
(480): His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it. http://tfl.nu/pwa8
(704): Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night? http://tfl.nu/zhm8
(617): What time did you start drinking?
(978): Maybe.
(617): Maybe isn't a time... http://tfl.nu/r4p5
(401): i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree http://tfl.nu/su4s
(630): Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later" http://tfl.nu/rgop
(651): raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
(608): lets go back to having secrets in our friendship http://tfl.nu/pq7s
(404): The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed http://tfl.nu/y06v
(530): Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
(530): That could use a little rephrasing http://tfl.nu/xfz9
(978): I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital.. http://tfl.nu/5pzt
(704): My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search. http://tfl.nu/gxvg
(781): One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach? http://tfl.nu/leuf
(210): My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out http://tfl.nu/di5z
(509): walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her. http://tfl.nu/knz9
(231): Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you. http://tfl.nu/6utw
(+61): i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that? http://tfl.nu/m9eq
(512): Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids. http://tfl.nu/hflo
British and U.S. forces freed the cargo ship [the Montecristo] in a dramatic rescue last week after retrieving a message in a bottle tossed by hostages from a porthole alerting ships nearby that the crew was safely sealed inside an armored area.
Santorum 1. The frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex. 2. Senator Rick Santorum.(It's actually a link to spreadingsantorum.com, a site created by sex columnist Dan Savage in response to Santorum's likening of homosexuality to pedophilia and bestiality.)
If you're a responsible business, you don't let things like that happen in your business that have an impact on the country.If he really thinks this, he should also be criticizing all of the businesses that build plants in foreign countries or otherwise outsource the jobs of Americans.
Gangster chess player: You're cute, but let's see how smart you are.
30-something career woman: I'd play you, but I'm on a lunch break from my job. Checkmate.
--Union Square
Eight-year-old boy, showing his dad game he is playing: Daddy, daddy, she won't come!
Dad: Keep going, she will come eventually.
--F Train
Guy #1 at bar: I was driving all day today. My groin is really tired.
Guy #2 at bar: How were you driving?!?!
--Heartland Brewery
Enthusiastic cowboy-hat wearing teen tourist, indicating subway car: We need one a these in Texas!
Friend, sullenly: We got no place to go in Texas.
--1 Train
Hurricane Irene is heading my way--though I have to wonder if it will still officially be a hurricane when it gets here. According to weatherchannel.com, the highest windspeed predicted for my zipcode is only 47mph.A purist has been defined as a person who takes great pains, and gives them to you.
Tourist lady at night: Look at all the lights! There's just something magical about New York.
(steps off curb, looks down) Oh my god! It's a condom!
Random suit behind her: Magical!
--53rd St & 7th Ave