Monday, December 19, 2011

The week's best TFLNs

(269): I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
(580): Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
(530): it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
(+61): I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
(517): btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
(503): All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
(248): Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
(+33): We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom.  How ill would Picasso be?
(519): I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
(952): Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
(301): Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
(251): How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?

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