Today's collection of TFLNs

(914): You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street. http://tfl.nu/q2es

(210): If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night http://tfl.nu/5uhb

(520): One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops. http://tfl.nu/4y8e

(615): A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning. http://tfl.nu/fh1x

(740): I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever. http://tfl.nu/glym

(530): sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom http://tfl.nu/p21d