Plat du jour--guest submission

Found on a cute, little Mini Cooper by former mHB member Carolyn Ann. This is the first of a large number of plates she has given to me. Thanks, Carolyn.

Living with mountain lions III

Chihuahuas Confront Cougar in SoCal Garage

Plat du jour--guest submission

Joanne keeps finding them.

Semi-random thoughts

● My bank wants me to put "Retired" for employer on forms I submit, not "None." I guess that makes a difference.

● I did a reply all to an e-mail I received, and got back an "Automatic Response" saying

Hello, I am away until February 28, 2007 and am unable to read your message.

● I hate it when people cc me on their replies to e-mails from others, without copying the original message. I'm left guessing what the original message said.

● The Indians actually climbed out of last place for 2 or 3 days, but they're back in the cellar now. The Central Division is so even they're only a game and a half out of third place, and 6.5 out of first.

● I generally stay away from all those silly Facebook quizzes, but sometimes I can't resist. I succumbed to the "Do You Make A Better Man or Woman?" quiz and got the result: You Are 48% Male, 52% Female. They got that one right.

Plat du jour

I think a fishnet bodysuit might qualify

From Overheard in New York:

Son to father: Daddy, do they sell Spiderman clothes in here?
Father: No, I am pretty sure they don't sell Spiderman stuff in here.
Son: Yes they do!

--Victoria's Secret

Plat du jour--guest submission

Joanne keeps finding them.

That's telling him

From Overheard in New York:

Male suit: See, look at her! (points at woman on BlackBerry) Women are more likely to get killed while texting than men. Men are always aware of their surroundings.
Female suit: No, men just can't walk and text at the same time. Women are better at multi-tasking.
Male suit: Alright, since you're so good at multi-tasking, suck my dick and make me a sandwich.
Female suit: I've got news for you. If you keep eating sandwiches, even hookers won't want to suck your dick.

Plat du jour--guest submission

A wonderful plate.
Another find by Joanne.

Is there a copy editor in the house?

I got an ad today for a product which will remain nameless to protect the guilty. It read:

It is proven to withstand rain, wind and even precipitation.

Plat du jour--guest find

I'm sure Howard University is very proud to have graduated a thug.

I find it curious, though, that the license plate holder says "Alumni." If it were the Howard University Alumni Association the plural would be fine, or if the car were co-owned by two or more Howard grads. But I suspect it belongs to a Howard alumnus, who never took ancient Greek from its Classics Department. (I doubt an alumna would have such a plate, but I'm just going by gender stereotypes here.)

Found by Victoria Marinelli

Oh, no! What am I going to do for foundation?

P&G phasing out Max Factor in US

Maybe that's why one of the Duane Reades in my neighborhood didn't have a Max Factor section when I went last week. I did get one from a different store, and ordered more online. I think I'll order a whole bunch more.

Plat du jour

Could this belong to Murray Hill, the hardest-working middle-aged man in show business?

Headline of the day

Family axes wedding plans, Egyptian cuts off organ

Apparently they won't use "penis" in a headline. Stupid.

Weekly free associations

1. Nursery :: School


2. Side effect :: Possible


3. Heart to heart :: Talk


4. Try :: Try again


5. Hog :: Warts


6. Symptom :: Fever


7. Collide :: Conduct


8. Fury :: Sound


9. Incorporated :: Limited


10. Summer :: Winter

HT to Unconscious Mutterings.

This is hilarious!

Sometimes music videos seem to have absolutely nothing to do with the song that's being sung. Someone took one of these, and rewrote the song to correspond to the video--a rather weird video to begin with. It's great.

HT to Justin Bond via Facebook.
(EDIT: I see that Cleo also posted this on the myHusbandBetty boards yesterday, but I overlooked it there.)

Plat du jour--guest submission

Not bloody likely.

Another one from Joanne.

Living with wild turkeys V

Wild turkey crashes through window of Wis. home

Memorial Day at Boscobel

View of the Hudson from the lawn of Boscobel, where we went Monday. That's West Point across the river by the tree trunk. (Click on the picture to enlarge it.)

Weekly free associations

1. Lisa :: Mona


2. Hope :: Faith


3. Irene :: Cara


4. Tony :: Randall


5. Anna :: Kournikova


6. Dolly :: Parton


7. Laura :: Ingles


8. Debbie :: Reynolds


9. Wilson :: Phillips


10. Paula :: Abdul

HT to Unconscious Mutterings.

Semi-random thoughts

● Facebook keeps suggesting people for me to be friends with because we "both live in New York." Yeah, and 8,000,000 other people as well. We all have so much in common.

● Two-and-a-half years ago I switched from using Discover to American Express Blue Cash as my main credit card. I see in the fine print at the end of my latest bill that Amex will be lowering its rebate on spending above $6500/year from 1.5% to 1.25%. It's still a little better than Discover, but it sure doesn't make me happy.

● Gosh, the Hubble space telescope is 19 years old? Time sure flies.

● Latest tweet from the world of burlesque:

Just took a stiletto in the head from @helenburkett in group dance number!

Who would think burlesque was such a hazardous occupation?

USB teddy bear holds data, scares children

Source

Plat du jour

New York City to Fire Island, I guess.

Weekly free associations

1. Vex :: Bother


2. Relapse :: Bad


3. Twinkle :: Toes


4. Crawls :: Walks


5. Optimistic moment :: ??


6. Cage :: Fight


7. Superwoman :: Supergirl


8. Personal :: Record


9. Vapor :: Trail


10. Grocery store :: Supermarket

HT to Unconscious Mutterings.

Liz Smith on Dick Cheney (warning: snark attack)

I was taping my little portion of the “Lips & Ears” show at Fox this week and the technicians had such a bright light on me that I was unable to read my script because of the light blindness. When I’d try to go back to it, it blurred.

“What’s the idea behind this new light?” I asked the guys. “Oh, this is set up for Dick Cheney. He is coming in right after you to be filmed.”

Dick Cheney loves super-bright lights shined in his eyes? Well, I guess it figures.

--Liz Smith's column

Is this an instruction sign for drivers?

Burlesque performers are salivating over this.

HT to Gigi La Femme

Headline of the day

New weapon turns fire ants into headless zombies

This is a real headline. And not in a supermarket tabloid.

RUNNER-UP: Spanish Queen tries to help bereaved elephant

Plat du jour--guest submission

Another one from Joanne.

Remember, first class postage goes up today

It now costs 44 cents to mail a letter (unless you stocked up on Forever Stamps). I remember when it was 3 cents.

I'm old.

(Non-) word of the day

inclusivizing

I ♥ NY

Young woman: Do you need help crossing the street?
Elderly woman: No. It's fucking red.

--96th & Broadway

From Overheard in New York

Weekly free associations

1. Again :: and again


2. Shower :: spring


3. Flirting :: no-no


4. Moving on :: moving up


5. Rachel :: Betty


6. Chips :: Ahoy


7. Texting :: Sexting


8. Feel better :: soon


9. Cashmere :: sweater


10. Sucked :: up

HT to Unconscious Mutterings.

Plat du jour

Star Trek micro-review

Two thumbs up--though I think it could be subtitled "Waiting for Scotty."

Victory for the DD's in the UK

Marks & Spencer caves in, cuts prices on big bras

Plat du jour (stolen)

I grabbed this from Victoria Marinelli's blog (I did tell her I was stealing it).

Happy Odd Day!

It's 5/7/9.

Brooklyn: the ecstasy and the agony

This is the second day in a row I'm going to Brooklyn. Last night I saw a burlesque show (a triple bill, actually). Today I'm going to the dentist. I doubt the hygienist will take off her clothes.

Headline of the day (not)

Obamas take a walk, holding hands in the evening

This is news?

Weekly free associations

1. Avoid :: Risk


2. Castle :: Rook


3. Episode :: One


4. Limited :: Edition


5. Nail polish :: OPI


6. Dip :: Shit


7. Share :: Equally


8. Damage :: Control


9. Improper :: Advances


10. Handle :: With Care

HT to Unconscious Mutterings.

The Postal Service has really gone to the dogs

A really boring story

Archbishop Dolan Blesses Tunnel Boring Machines

It must be a very slow news day.

NYC people! Protect your identity!

Sunday is the city's 2nd Annual Shred Fest!

Haul your old bank statements, credit card receipts, pictures of your ex'es or anything else on paper, to one of the mobile shredders and watch them disappear. Last year I got rid of 5 cartons of stuff.

(However, do hold on to your old tax returns. There's no statute of limitations on failure to file, so be prepared just in case the IRS loses track of your return from 1988.)

HT to David Marc Fischer

Plat du jour

Headline of the Day

Giant Tortoise Found In Bronx Backyard

Follow-up: Giant African Tortoise Found in Bronx Backyard Reunites with Owner

Of course he was charged with battery

Radio Shack employee punches customer

Amtrak rant, continued

Now I've learned that if Amtrak reschedules your train, not only do they fail to tell you about it, they also remove your reservation from their automated ticketing system. You have to go and get your tickets from an agent--after waiting on a 20+ minute line and almost missing your train. (The reason I didn't learn about this last time was that my train had already left when I arrived at Penn Station, so I bypassed the ticket machine and went straight to the line.) Grrr.

Semi-random thoughts

● My health insurance company sent me a notice of a modification saying:

Section XIII. Definitions have been updated to include the following definition of Spouse:

Spouse: A person's partner (husband or wife) in a legal marriage. For purposes of Dependent eligibility under this Certificate, spouse includes same sex partners who are married in jurisdictions that recognize same sex marriages.

How nice.

● I just got a notice that tickets to the Radio City Christmas Spectacular go on sale this week. Rushing the season a bit, I'd say.

● Now two weeks in a row I've had to choose between seeing two performers playing at the exact same time. One usually has a monthly show, but the other three seldom play in New York, at least on weeknights.

Plat du jour

What is the matter with Amtrak?

Amtrak did it to me again--rescheduled my train without informing me (they have my e-mail address and my phone #). Fortunately I knew to check, and this time it is only a 10 minute difference--so I probably would be OK. Last time they moved my train up 30 minutes, and I just missed it.

Headline of the day

Swiss heartland voters ban nude hiking

Weekly free associations

1. Soul :: Food


2. Fold :: Dotted line


3. Breakup :: Marriage


4. Will :: Power


5. Fond :: Farewell


6. Powers :: Boothe


7. Ho-hum :: Drum


8. Hustle :: Do the


9. Avenue :: Street


10. Tower :: Records

HT to Unconscious Mutterings.

Plat du jour

Just think of the possible jokes

Cash-Strapped Bronx Zoo Lays off Animals

A moose, a bear, and an elephant walk into an unemployment office...

Misspelling of the day

I-Oda

Plat du jour

The really interesting thing about this plate was the URL on the truck it was on:

Headline win

Colo. man convicted of murdering transgender woman
Yes, Angie Zapata was a woman.

Another reason not to go bra-less

Detroit woman's underwire bra deflects bullet

Living with wild hogs

Florida:Woman attacked by 200-pound wild hog in her yard

Headline fail

4 new ancient Egypt temples discovered in Sinai

Plat du jour

This is one way to remember a date. I'm guessing it's someone's anniversary.

Weekly free associations

1. Lease :: Rent


2. Dead :: Grateful


3. Removed :: Taken


4. Broke :: Busted


5. Lips :: Restaurant


6. Flight :: Time


7. Three hours :: Give or take


8. Give :: Take


9. Technical :: Difficulties


10. Hurry :: Up

HT to Unconscious Mutterings.

Plat du jour

CU L8R 2. (They spell funny in NJ.)

Semi-random thoughts

● I wish the media would stop romanticizing the Somali hijackers by calling them pirates. They are just organized crime at sea.

● Last week one of my friends said on Facebook that she

found out this afternoon that her lunchtime Monday meeting in Addis Ababa has been shifted to Brussels, which is much more convenient.

Some people live a lot more interesting lives than I do.

● I saw an ad for a new reality TV show "The Cougar" in the subway. It said something like "One older woman, 20 younger men." Well, to my 60-year-old eyes, she looks just about as young as the guys.

● There's an old joke that Washington was "First in war, first in peace, and last in the American League." This goes back to the days before they divided the baseball major leagues into divisions, and when Washington D.C. had the Senators as its team. Today Washington has the Nationals, and they're in the National League. But they're still last, with the worst record of any team there. The worst in the American League (so far) is my Cleveland Indians.

● Friday night I saw a production of Tartuffe with my wife, where the title character, a falsely pious charlatan, had his servant cover up the parts of tapestries showing people is various states of undress.

I was amused to realize that the theatre was just a few dozen yards from the one where I was on Wednesday, where I saw a burlesque show where all the performers (well, the female ones), got completely undressed.

Plat du jour

I do, sometimes.

Weekly free associations

1. Animal :: Crackers


2. Temporary :: Insanity


3. Moan :: Groan


4. Rapid :: City


5. That’s for me to say :: ??


6. City :: Slicker


7. Bumper :: Car


8. Eclipse :: Sun


9. Problematic :: Difficult


10. If? :: When?

HT to Unconscious Mutterings.

Mind-boggling government incompetence

AP: POW benefit claimants exceed recorded POWs
The Veteran Affairs department doesn't always check with the Department of Defense to verify if someone is a former POW! Perhaps they never do. All it would take is to check an online list.

Plat du jour

I don't have a clue what this one means.

Weekly free associations

Ooops, I forgot to do this last Sunday.

1. Log :: in


2. Plaything :: Toy


3. Broom :: Stick


4. Heels :: High


5. Smoke in :: Smoke out


6. Guests :: Visitors


7. Attraction :: Coming


8. Shiny:: New


9. Risked :: Bet


10. Velvet :: Black

HT to Unconscious Mutterings.

Plat du jour

There sure are a lot of Goofy's in New York.

Semi-random thoughts

● I love being able to print out movie and theatre tickets at home. But it really pisses me off that the theatres charge $2.50 for this (though it's still less than what they would charge to mail them).

● When one follows burlesque performers on Twitter, one gets some very interesting tweets:

One show down! Steaming out my bustle for round 2!

● If you're home alone waiting for a delivery, and you want it to come immediately, just go to the bathroom.

● I used "Jewish" in a tweet and I was immediately followed by the Jewish Internet Defense Force. I blocked them.

● My March madness bracket picks put me in 1,021,744th place in the CBS Sports Bracket Challenge. I probably would have done better just by flipping a coin.

Ah, New York City!

Plat du jour

Do da twins really need a great big SUV in the city?

Dear Abby handles small questions, too

DEAR ABBY: My older brother moved from the East Coast to Wyoming 20 years ago, which put him in a different time zone -- two hours behind me. He died in June of last year.
I am planning to get a tattoo memorializing the date and time of my brother's passing, but have reached a dilemma. My brother died June 12 at 11 p.m. in Wyoming, but it was 1 a.m. June 13 here in Connecticut.

Which date should I use? I have asked friends who say I should go with what feels right to me, but others have told me to use the date on his death certificate. Which is correct? -- DAY LATE AND TWO HOURS SHORT

DEAR DAY LATE: The date on your brother's death certificate. However, tattoos are very personal, and if you choose to use the time and date in Connecticut of his passing, no one should criticize you for it

Living with bears XLII

Just for old times' sake.

Wisconsin: Black Bear Spotted Again South of La Crosse

Alaska: Anchorage black bear stirs up trouble

Washington: Karelian bear dogs unleashed in Wash. state to drive off bears

Ohio: ODNR: More than 100 black bear sightings reported last year

Florida: State of the Florida black bear, Well-Fed Bear Released Back Into Wild, FL Black Bear Festival: Big Business Learning About Living in Bear Country

Plat du jour

The truck was unmarked, but I'm assuming this is a Roto-Rooter competitor.

Happy April Fool's Day!

Click here

Plat du jour--guest submission

If this guy were really an expert he'd figure out how to fit in the missing E.

Another one from Joanne.

Semi-random thoughts

● Why do people think that anything other than the lightest color fonts are legible on a black background?

● It's really nice listening to chamber music in a real chamber, not a big concert hall.

● The NY City Ballet is modifying its computer system, allowing its customers to register for more functional accounts. Since I was already in their system somehow, they had some info on me, and it came up on my new account as a separate (but incomplete) address. So I went to delete it, except it wouldn't let me delete it until I completed the missing parts. Then I could delete it. Bad programming.

● I hate it when I press the wrong "home" button and get my browser home page instead of my twitter one.

● My prediction from January about how the Wisconsin Badgers men's basketball team would do this season was exactly correct. They made it to the NCAA's, where they won one game.

● Why does the world map in a solicitation from Doctors Without Borders have borders on it?

Plat du jour

Living with coyotes XII

Urban coyote attacks on rise, alarming residents

Weekly free associations

1. Road trip :: Movie


2. Pool hall :: Movie


3. Extraordinary :: Effort


4. Jackson :: Pollock


5. Heartfelt :: Thanks


6. Wet :: Spots


7. Strangle :: Choke


8. .com :: .net


9. Touched :: Inspired


10. Insipid :: Dull

HT to Unconscious Mutterings.

Plat du jour--guest submission

Another one from Joanne at mHB.

Living with bobcats II

Bobcat walks into Ariz. bar, attacks patrons
This isn't even the first post in my living with bobcats category.

You can't make up stuff like this

Bachelorette party prop spooks Wichita police horse, prompts arrest

WICHITA - Wichita police arrested three people in Old Town on Sunday in an incident that began when a man threw an inflatable penis at an officer's horse.
...
Police arrested the man, of Eastborough, on suspicion of battery of a law enforcement officer, in this case, the horse.

Weekly free associations

I've really gotten behind on these.

1. Studio :: City


2. Meetup :: TG


3. Ostrich :: feathers


4. Jokes :: Hilarity


5. Estranged :: Husband


6. Random :: Error


7. Slap :: Shot


8. Hotel room :: Key


9. Inscribe :: ??


10. Polar :: Bear

1. Sunburn :: Relief


2. Aquarium :: Monterey


3. Otter :: Beaver


4. Awesome :: Valley girl


5. LOL :: ;)


6. Accordion :: Joke


7. Hot Pocket :: Food


8. Grandstand :: Seat


9. Shaved :: Head


10. Upgrade :: Software

1. Mourning :: Elektra


2. Approval :: Loan


3. Lotion :: Moisturize


4. Perspire :: Sweat


5. Language :: English


6. Defection :: Communist


7. Play :: Ball!


8. Graphic :: Design


9. Spicy :: Meatballs


10. In love :: With

HT to Unconscious Mutterings.

Semi-random thoughts

● I unfollowed someone on Twitter for promoting PETA. As far as I'm concerned, PETA is a bunch of one-issue extremists whose tactics have ranged from the offensive to outright terrorism.

● Yesterday morning I got a call from the mail order pharmacy my health insurer uses. They said that my doctor had submitted a renewal of a prescription of mine, and it would be shipped shortly. Yesterday evening I got an e-mail from the pharmacy saying the doctor had not responded to the request for a renewal. Their website seems to indicate the call, not the e-mail, was correct.

● Why have we been getting so many wrong number calls lately?

● You know a play was bombed by the critics when the first two reviews they feature in an ad are by gossip columnists Liz Smith and Cindy Adams.

● Lots of places give discounts for seniors. But classical music venues are trying to get more young people to attend concerts. So the 92nd Street Y offers cheap tickets to anyone under 35 for some of its events.

Plat du jour

Fortune Exchange? It's a chain of currency change stores in the UK. Other than that, I dunno.

Headline of the day

16 arrested in fight at nonviolence concert

A small step for Clayelle

Back in 2005 I blogged about being surprised that Clayelle Dalferes, the sultry-voiced WQXR weekend announcer, said over the air that she couldn't pronounce the names of religious holidays for which the NYC alternate-side parking regulations would be suspended. She replied in an e-mail (which I added as a comment to my post) that she was routinely criticized for her pronunciation of the Jewish holidays, so she just refrained.

But yesterday I heard her announce that the parking regulations would be suspended for Purim on Tuesday. She pronounced "Purim" just fine. So I sent off a little e-mail to congratulate her for her progress in holiday pronunciation.

Clayelle replied,

Hi -- thanks for the note and congratulations. "Purim" is about as easy to pronounce as religious holidays can get -- even so, I checked with Bill Jerome this morning! You've no idea how offended people can get -- my bad Hebrew has led to charges of anti-Semitism, or of poking fun at Religion in general. Since I can't be Kosher or Halel with pronunciation, I think I'd best stick to "religious holidays" for anything not translatable, don't you?

Thanks again for the note -- all the best for "Printemps qui commence" , and none too soon.

Clayelle

So I guess we can't look forward to hearing "Idul-Fitr" from her any time soon.

Plat du jour

My avenue is Madison.

Health insurance: Give people a choice

It's no surprise that conservatives are opposed to a government-run health insurance program that would compete against today's private ones. Yet these are the same people who are in favor of school vouchers and charter schools, which give parents an alternative to the public education systems. Since the current health insurance system is at least as dysfunctional as the public schools, I think it could use a good dose of competition. Give people a choice.

I think he actually learned something

From xkcd

Plat du jour

A female jalopy? Jill's jalopy?

What are your chances of getting a tapeworm?

HT to Sandy Shoes

Weekly free associations

1. Pain :: Reliever


2. Lego :: Toy


3. Trooper :: State


4. Flicker :: Film


5. Character :: Study


6. Determined :: Strong-willed


7. Wing :: Prayer


8. Control :: Freak


9. Automatic :: Pilot


10. Yeah :: Man

HT to Unconscious Mutterings.

Plat du jour

Thanks Mom and/or Dad.

Weekly free associations

1. Carpet :: bagger


2. William :: Tell


3. Oh! :: Boy!


4. Board game :: Monopoly


5. Sunlight :: Moonlight


6. Delay :: Impede


7. Winner :: Loser


8. Concubine :: Wife


9. Comatose :: ??


10. Satisfy :: Curiosity

HT to Unconscious Mutterings.

Now that's a bra

For those who want a little math exercise