Best Texts From Last Night of the week

(804): finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.

http://tfl.nu/gp9t

(248): the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky

 http://tfl.nu/6tb5

(203): Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.

 http://tfl.nu/4eoz

(706): I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.

 http://tfl.nu/e8qy

(805): a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
(818): god is laughing at you again

 http://tfl.nu/4fg3

(810): can I come stay the night
(217): yeah, but no sex tonight
(810): I'll stay home

http://tfl.nu/tu8g