More great Texts From Last Night

(613): ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.

 http://tfl.nu/in19

(303): I don't know where my bra went.
(1-303): Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.

http://tfl.nu/03yq

(530): There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them

 http://tfl.nu/te5k

(516): Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.

 http://tfl.nu/o92e

(937): There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.

http://tfl.nu/hmr5

(403): Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.

 http://tfl.nu/6qnx