Stupid Somali thugs lose another one

US Navy frigate captures 5 pirates near Seychelles

Happy April Fool's Day!

Click here

TFLNs of the day

Tons of good ones today. My favorites:

(615): I'm watching ellen!
(1-615): just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show http://tfl.nu/chlu

(719): I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me. http://tfl.nu/o08k

(630): I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.http://tfl.nu/xm6j

(408): Maybe my heart is located in my vagina http://tfl.nu/huf2

(919): So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
(1-919): And that worked?
(919): 9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards. http://tfl.nu/moso

(214): new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5. http://tfl.nu/1dnu

Yay, Netherlands!

Dutch disarm 12 pirates off coast of Somalia

Living with bobcats XXV

Canada: Second sighting of elusive bobcat

Micro-review: Hard Times

The Pearl Theatre Company scores again. Six actors juggle 19 roles plus ensemble in this excellent adaptation of Dickens' novel.

Headline of the day

Police: Drunk Pa. man tried to revive dead opossum

Catching up on Texts From Last Night

Lots of St. Patricks Day and spring break texts. Here are my 10 favorites, in reverse chronological order if that makes any difference.

so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement

when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.

We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.

I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M

after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.

the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?

I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.

So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.

How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?

She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.

Living with coyotes XV

Wily coyote evades NYC police capture for 2 days

Waste not, want not

Headline of the day

I don't know where this appeared.

HT to Dave Hilton on Facebook

Another Somali thug bites the dust

Private guards kill Somali pirate for first time

I really don't care who has jurisdiction over private guards. I doubt any Somali hijackers are going to be looking to sue them. I suppose if a Somali fisherman is killed or injured the question might arise.

Semi-random thoughts

• I realize I no longer need to carry around my little flashlight. My phone has a flashlight app. However, it does not have a pocketknife app. Or a handkerchief app. 
• The way end-of-season tournaments work, most college basketball players will end their careers with a loss. That's kind of sad.
• I've been waiting to see the details of the new "emeritus" status for New York State lawyers. I had read that if you were over 55 and only wanted to do pro-bono work, you would be exempted from the $350 fee and 24 hours of continuing legal education every two years. It sounded perfect for me. But my hopes have been dashed, for a couple of reasons. First, there is also a requirement that you have practiced law for 10 years. I don't think I could honestly claim that. Second, you are required to perform at least 60 hours of pro-bono work every two years, and it has to be within a few designated programs. So it looks like I will still have to take CLE classes and pay my fee. The only bright side to this is that I haven't wasted the time and money I've spent on CLE this biennium. I've already accumulated 15 hours, so I only need 9 more by November.
• Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck were born one day apart. Maybe there is something to this astrology stuff after all.

Living with bobcats XXIV (and coyotes, too)

Florida: Wildlife adapting to urban area

From Overheard in the Office

It's been a while since I checked this site. Here are my favorites from the last few weeks.

Female attorney to secretary: Even the three-ways are a pain in the butt.

Middle manager: I'm not going to eat until all of these problems are solved
Office temp: Wow, you're gonna die.

CSR #1: Yeah, I was a vegan for a few years.
CSR #2: What happened?
CSR #1: Chicken happened.

Elevator geek: An IUD is not a weapon. It's a contraceptive.
Elevator cougar: Depends on who you ask.

Manager: So to get to know each other a little better I'm going to ask you all to answer this question: if you were an animal, what would it be? I'd be a cat, I think.
Cashier #1: A chinchilla. They're cute.
Cashier #2: A guinea pig, because they're awesome.
Cashier #3: A bird, so I could shit on anybody who tried to shit on me.
(long awkward pause)
Manager: Okay. That's a good answer too.

Overheard in New York of the day

Shabby-looking vegan woman: Vegans have much better sex!
Black man in suit, looking her up and down: I'd rather have a hamburger.

--Columbus Circle

source

One small step for a woman...

Vienna makes first woman concertmaster permanent

Plat du jour

Living with bobcats XXIII

Florida: Bobcat On The Prowl Near Homes?

Micro-review: Mr. & Mrs. Fitch

Mr. & Mrs. Fitch: Reasonably entertaining, with witty, ridiculous dialog until near the end. Fine performances by John Lithgow and Jennifer Ehle. I loved her shoes.

Semi-random thoughts

• Why does Pandora's British Invasion station have songs by Bob Dylan and Simon and Garfunkel?
• I am being "shadowed" by a college student writing a profile of me. This is the second one doing this in the last two years. The first was an undergraduate at Sarah Lawrence. This one is a grad student at the Columbia J-School. They think I'm an interesting subject for a profile. I can't imagine why.
• While we were in Washington for the Lobby Days of the National Center for Transgender Equality several of us noticed how spotless the floors of the Capitol Hill buildings were. I remarked that I've seen hospital floors that weren't so clean.
• My census forms came while I was in Washington. We're supposed to report who's living at the address on April 1. Why are they sending the forms out so early? Do they really expect people to hold on to them for over 2 weeks before filling them out and sending them in?

Somali thugs continue to be stupid

Somali pirates attempt attack on Dutch warship

Living with mountain lions VI

Colorado: Lion enters home

Plat du jour

Living with bobcats XXII

Texas: Bobcat caught in Houston parking garage

One more reason to take Amtrak

Amtrak Launches Wireless Access on Acela Express Trains


Unfortunately my trip to Washington for the NCTE Lobby Day in a couple weeks will not be on the Acela--the timing didn't work out.

Take that, Somalian thugs

NATO warship sinks pirate ship off Somalia

Beware of Starbucks

Starbucks lets customers carry guns into their stores

(However, we don't have to worry about this in NYC, with our gun laws.)

New York gets 2 feet of snow

I've seen this photo two or three places, but the first was a FB post by Jo Weldon.

Headline of the day

Puppet cleavage a no-no for Colo. bus shelter ads

Plat du jour

Living with bobcats XXI

Florida: Bobcat spotted in NSB beachside near A1A high rises

Some birds have no respect for authority

HT to Lady Rizo.

Best Text From Last Night of the day

(408): Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same. http://tfl.nu/sgs8

Best Overheard in New York of the Day

Guy #1: Yo, why haven't you followed me on Twitter yet?
Guy #2: Man, I don't even pay attention to you when you talk!
--2 Train

Overheard in New York

Headline of the day

Man Seeks Shelter for Bronx Flock of Wild Chickens

My Olympic confession

OK, I admit it. I'm addicted to watching the Olympics. I can't wait for tomorrow: curling starts!

New shoes!

I can't remember the last time I wore heels even this high, at least outside home. They're a bit tight (but not painful), which means I always feel them on my feet--which I like. ;) And they stay on--the straps keep me from slipping my heels out when sitting. It will be fun wearing them to the theater and a burlesque show Wednesday--not to mention a bar or two afterwards.

Best Text From Last Night of the day

(816): believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.

http://tfl.nu/i2tt

Living with bobcats XX

Texas: Construction Causing City Wildlife Incursion

Florida: Bobcats Seen Roaming Beach City

Washington: Bobcat sightings in Woodinville

Participatory democracy: We get to vote for the new NYC condom wrapper design

http://www.nyc.gov/html/doh/html/condoms/contest.shtml






The City of New York distributes free condoms at hundreds of bars, clubs and other places. Now we get to vote on the design of the new wrapper. Let's hear it for participatory democracy!

Living with bobcats XIX

Canada: Neighbours not alarmed by bobcat sighting

I ♥ NYC

Greenpeace guy: Hey, sign this petition!
Girl in black: No, thanks.
Greenpeace guy: It's to save the Earth!
Girl in black: Fuck the Earth.
Greenpeace guy: But what about the children?
Girl in black: Fuck the children.

--7th Ave & 25th

from Overheard in New York

It seems the NY Times has more clout than this blog

In December I posted a little rant about Duane Reade's misleading packaging of its Delish brand snack chips. Apparently I wasn't the only one to notice this. In an article in today's paper the Times reports that

After being questioned about the bags by The New York Times, Duane Reade said it would correct the chip labels.

The next step is to ban Taco Bell

Mexico asks UNESCO to protect country's cuisine

Quote of the day

Trying to log out of the new fb took longer than getting out of a straight jacket.

--Albert Cadabra, magician, escape and sideshow artist

Headline of the day

Anger counselor charged with pulling gun in parking flap

(HT to Ivan Dominguez)

Yay, Denmark!

Danish forces free ship captured by pirates

Unfortunately all of the hijackings don't end this way.

TFLN of the day

We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame. http://tfl.nu/u712

Gosh, I wish I knew what painting they were looking at

Woman #1, in front of painting of the Virgin Mary: This is the oddest depiction of Mary I've ever seen. And the most sexiest.
Woman #2: She's so... Boobilicious.

--The Met

From Overheard in New York

Another use for my labeler

I have worn off the markings on some of the keys. (The Z is from a game I play.)

Headline of the day

Fire in Houston blamed on inflatable gorilla

Plat du jour

Living with bobcats XVIII

California: Bobcats seen in San Clemente back yard

Georgia: Bobcat seen in Macedonia

Utah: Bobcat goes fishing on Main

Oklahoma: Bobcat hit by car at Flood Avenue, Bobcat hit by car on Flood Avenue dies

Texas: Morris students cry bobcat

Arizona: Baby bobcat caught, 1 of 2 seen in Casa Grande neighborhood

Semi-random thoughts

• For several months I've been sending out weekly e-mails to a group of friends about what my plans were for going out. Last week I found out that one of them hadn't received any of my messages. I never got a bounce back, but she just wasn't getting them, not even in her spam folder. We ran tests, where I replied to a message of hers (which I received just fine), after deleting her from my contact list. Nothing worked. I have to use an old email account I have on mail.com to get to her. I wonder if it has something to do with my being on Yahoo and her being on Hotmail. UPDATE: the mystery is solved. Her account got hacked. A bunch of addresses had been added to her safe list, and mine, among others, were blocked. Why the hackers blocked some addresses I have no idea. Nor do I understand why the e-mails didn't bounce back to me.
• One of life's awkward moments: being followed on Twitter by an old friend of a friend who's a convicted, unrepentant pedophile.
• I know two people named X*****. One can get more than a bit obnoxious when she's been drinking. The other one is that way stone cold sober.
  
  
  

Living with raccoons II (this is right in my "backyard!")

Rabid Raccoons Continue to Invade Central Park, Eight More Found in Two Weeks

Flight attendant raps safety instructions

Living with bobcats XVII

Minnesota: Bobcat attack on dog causes stir

Canada: Wildlife experts ease fears about Braeside bobcat

Great fake flower find

My wife bought these fake flowers from a sidewalk vendor on Columbus in the 60's. They're made of wood shavings! (Click on the photo to enlarge.)

Living with coyotes XIV (and bobcats, too)

Texas: Police issue warnings about coyotes in Bellaire

TFLN of the day

I've succumbed to another internet time-waster: Texts From Last Night. My choice for the best from today:

you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning

Runner-up:

A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.

The FBI has some real idiots working for them

Spanish lawmaker's photo used for bin Laden poster
It didn't cross anyone's mind that someone might object to having his facial features used in a wanted poster for the world's most notorious terrorist? Or did they just think that nobody would recognize the facial features they stole copied? The FBI employs some real numbskulls.

Facebook people: Help LGBT charities get free money

JPMorganChase is giving away $5 million to charities chosen by Facebook users. The first round of voting was in December. Now there's a few days to vote for the final prizes--one group will get $1 million for its work. There are three LGBT-oriented charities among the finalists, and I urge you to vote for them.

You do have to become a fan of Chase Community Giving (I suppose you can un-fan them after voting.) Each Facebook user gets 5 votes. (I'm not sure what, if anything, I will do with my last 2.) Click on the 3 "badges" below--they are actually different links, taking you to the different groups' voting pages, with detailed information on who they are and what they would do if they got the million dollars. Please vote for them. The last day is Friday, January 22.

Here is a detailed description of the program from Chase's FAQs:

Chase Community Giving is a program run by Chase that allows Facebook users to vote for local charities and non-profits, and helps direct Chase corporate philanthropy dollars to eligible organizations in the following focus areas: education, healthcare, housing, the environment, combating hunger, arts and culture, human services, and animal welfare. The grassroots campaign aims to inspire a new way of corporate philanthropy.

The eligible charity receiving the most votes will be awarded $1 million, the top five runners-up will receive $100,000 each, and the 100 finalists, including the top winners, will be awarded $25,000 each. Additionally, a special Advisory Board led by prominent national philanthropists will allocate $1 million to the nominated charities of its choice.

My recommendations:

The Matthew Shepard Foundation, fighting hate crimes:
The Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network (GLSEN), fighting harassment and bullying in schools:

The Trevor Project, fighting youth suicides:

Living with mountain lions V (and bobcats, too)

Colorado: Mountain lions kill pet (scroll down)

Living with coyotes XIII

Sandyshoes, who lives on Cape Cod, reported seeing a coyote in her driveway.

(This is a generic picture of a coyote, not the one she saw.)

Stupid product of the day--and maybe for a lot longer

Taylor Gifts' Flameless remote control candles

This is the most stupid product I've seen in a long time. I suppose it might be of some use to a disabled person, but otherwise, why would anyone need this thing? The little remote is just begging to get lost.

Public Service Announcement

Estimated taxes are due tomorrow.

Living with bobcats XVI

Arizona: Bobcat kittens will stay at Prescott Lakes

Happy Palindrome Day!

It's 01/11/10.

Plat du jour

I guess this guy thinks more of his car than his children.

Living with bobcats XV

California: Another bobcat seen near Ambuehl School

Lie of the year

I just realized how bad the economy really is. I recently bought a new toaster oven and as a complimentary gift, I was given a bank."

--Larry Legro, World Champion Liar

I'm a Beautiful Blogger

I have been given a "Beautiful Blogger" award by Helen Boyd. I'm not so sure about the beautiful part. In fact, considering how little I have posted of late, I'm not even sure about the blogger part. But what the hell, an award is an award. So I accept.

I do have various responsibilities that come with this honor:

1. Thank the person who chose me. Thanks, Helen.
2. Link to her site. I did that when I started this blog, but I'll do it again. en|Gender
3. Put the award on my blog. OK, it's over in the right-hand column.
   
4. Enumerate seven interesting things about myself. See below. (caveat: "interesting" is in the eye of the beholder.)
   
5. Choose seven other people to be Beautiful Bloggers. See below.
   

Seven interesting things about me:

1. I have been listed in the acknowledgements sections of three books on trans-related subjects, written by three different authors.  
2. In my 61+ years of life I have never had a stitch in my body.
3. I have been seen transforming from man to woman on television in at least five countries on three continents.
4. I started programming computers in 1968. (I'm pretty sure my cellphone has more computing power than the mainframe I learned on.)
5. I had the same kindergarten teacher as my mother.
6. I started warning about Y2K problems in 1982. Nobody cared.
7. I have been a subscriber to the New York Philharmonic for 36 years.

My seven choices for the Beautiful Blogger Award:

• Sandyshoes, author of Noted and blogged
• CL Minou, author of The Second Awakening
• Baby Power Dyke, author of Journal of a Power Dyke in Training
• Erica CD, author of her eponymous blog

The last three are women who haven't posted anything in quite a while. I wish they would start again. They're certainly all beautiful.

• Joann Prinzivalli, author of Trans-Cendence
• Juliet Jeske, author of Little Miss Angry Girl's Blog  
• Jo Weldon, author of Burlesque Daily (and owner of Candy Pitch)

Living with bobcats XIV

Arizona: Police shoot bobcat near Prescott Lakes Parkway subdivision, Rabid animals raise alert in Pinal County

Canada: Wild cat makes an appearance at Deer Lake on Christmas

Kansas: Bobcat Family Frolicks in KC-Area Yard

Plat du jour

I wonder if there's any relation to W MOZART.

Headline of the day

Woman knocks down pope at Mass; Christmas celebrations begin

(HT to Justin Bond)

Best Overheard in New York of the day

Three-year-old boy to punk girl in black fishnets, as he pokes though holes: Um... why is your legs trapped?

--Thompkins Square Park

Source

Living with bobcats XIII

Arizona: Possibly rabid bobcat sought after attacking man in Oracle

Happy Festivus!

To all those who observe Festivus, have a happy one.

If you'd like to sing a Festivus song, see my previous post.

(I wonder how big a holiday this is among pole dancers.)

Sexism is alive and well in the Appleton, WI courts

Or maybe just heterosexism.

Wis. teen will need legal permission to date girls

The judge didn't seem to think that there would be any problem if the defendant wanted to date a boy. Or, perhaps more likely, the judge didn't even consider the possibility he would want to date a boy.

Living with bobcats XII

Arizona: Man Fights Off Rabid Bobcat With Bare Hands

Plat du jour

Internet finds

Here are some things I found particularly interesting and/or amusing as I have surfed the web recently.

• Swedish service performs your last online wishes My immediate question is how this would work for people, like me, who are not using their official names. How could the death be verified? That said, I think this is a good invention in general. I have one Facebook friend who died a year or two ago, and it's always weird to see her picture pop up on my list of friends. I could unfriend her, I suppose, but that doesn't seem quite right either.
• And speaking of unfriending: Fla. judges, lawyers must 'unfriend' on Facebook. This does make some sense--the appearance of judges' impartiality is almost as important as their actual impartiality.
• Pandora has a station just for Hanukkah music.

Semi-random thoughts

● When I got to the section of my college alumni magazine with the little notes about what various alumni are doing, I took a little satisfaction in realizing that it will be quite some time before articles about people in my class will be in the "early years" segment. Right now that segment covers people who graduated before 1940. The oldest alum mentioned graduated in 1926.

● In the good news-bad news department, the little newsletter stuck into my utility bill starts with an article titled "Lower Natural Gas Prices Expected." Great. But the last article is "Con Edison Seeks Gas-Rate Increase." The gas itself might get cheaper, but they want more money to deliver it. We can't win.

● Duane Reade has nice 100 calorie bags of its (I guess) house brand "de lish" potato chips. Well, it says in big type on the front that it's 100 calories. It's only in the much smaller Nutrition Facts table in the back do you learn that it's 100 calories PER SERVING, and there are 1.3 servings in the bag.

Plat du jour

I wonder where APPLEA-F are?

(I'm still figuring out how to use the camera in my new phone, especially with the flash. This was way over-exposed.)

Bruno convicted--Yay!

Jury Convicts Joseph Bruno on 2 of 8 Corruption Charges

Finally the former NY Senate Republican leader will face his just desserts. It's too bad this came after so many years of his messing things up in the government.

Best Overheard in New York of the day

50-something yuppie guy to another: My wife just doesn't understand that men go through menopause too. It's not just a woman's problem. These past few months I can tell that I've begun my menopause.
Teenage girl sitting across from two yuppies: I'm pretty sure they call what you're going through "erectile dysfunction."

--F Train

source

Living with bobcats XI

Oklahoma: Local Bobcat Has Pet Owner Nervous

Plat du jour--guest submission

From Carolyn Ann's collection

Deer in Manhattan? Who knew?

Police Rescue a Deer on Governors I.

That deer sure must be a strong swimmer, to get all the way across the harbor from New Jersey.

But what really intrigued me was the end of the article, which says there are deer in Manhattan--all the way up at the northern tip, but now I'm waiting for one to find its way to Central Park, like the coyote.

More Indian Ocean hijackers repelled by armed guards--Yay!

Spain says trawler attacked by pirates

Living with bobcats X

Iowa: ELUSIVE CREATURES SPOTTED

Headline of the day

Kangaroo tries to drown dog, attacks owner

Runner-up: Chef Paula Deen accidentally hit by charity ham

Semi-random thoughts

● www.weather.com almost always seems to show at least a 10% chance of precipitation. I consider this a classic CYA--no one can complain if it does happen to rain.

● "Losing your tuna" should be a euphemism for something. One of my Facebook friends suggested it should mean having female-to-male gender surgery.

● The museums' audio guide explanations for kids are sometimes more informative than the general ones--and always more entertaining.

Living with bobcats IX

Oregon: Bobcat Spotted In Back Yard Of NW Portland Home

Take that, Somali thugs

Maersk Alabama repels 2nd pirate attack with guns

Semi-random thoughts

● I did some internet research on satellite radio for a friend. Immediately after that I got ads for Sirius radio on my Excite news pages. These targeted advertisements really watch your internet usage--and they are fast.

● A Facebook friend (whom I don't really know) wrote that she "wants to learn to speed read so i can read 2-4 books a month." Sad.

● 'Unfriend' Is Dictionary's 2009 Word of the Year, beating out "sexting" among other neologisms. I generally don't unfriend Facebook friends. Mostly I just hide them on my feed. There have also been a few really obnoxious people I've blocked completely, but I don't think any of them were friends.

Yawn headline of the day

Turkey on NJ Turnpike causes havoc, evades capture
Big deal, there are lots of turkeys driving on the NJ turnpike.

OK, I guess I really should file this under "living with wild turkeys."