Living with coyotes XVII

Girl, 6, Scratched, Bitten by Coyotes in NY Suburb

Plat du jour--guest submission

I thought the city was already sold. I guess it's back on the market.

Thanks, Joanne.

There's no fool like an April fool

ThinkGeek.com, an online store that sells "stuff for smart masses," put a new item on its site on April 1: Canned Unicorn Meat. They called it "the new white meat." They have now gotten a cease and desist letter from lawyers for the National Pork Board, claiming they are in violation of the Board's "The Other White Meat" trademark. I wonder how much it cost them to have their lawyers write the 12-page missive. April Fools, Pork Board!

Living with bobcats XLI

Arizona: Bobcats make themselves at home in Vail backyard, Reader photo

Plat du jour--guest submission

Thanks, Joanne.

Happy Solstice!

The sun is so high we're getting direct sunlight on the windows on the northern side of the apartment. It only happens a few hours each year.

Living with bobcats XL

Arizona: Scottsdale family finds live bobcat on porch

Wisconsin: Big cat visits Weston backyard

Plat du jour

A female French singer.

Living with bobcats XXXIX

Texas: Bobcat spotted near Plano's Old Shepard Place

TFLN roundup

(304): Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.

http://tfl.nu/t3n8

(360): All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.

http://tfl.nu/fujj

(303): Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.

http://tfl.nu/3qfc

(937): Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either

http://tfl.nu/8shq

(903): Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later

http://tfl.nu/a1zy

(845): so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date

(845): i guess it runs in the family.

http://tfl.nu/gfn4

(773): Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.

http://tfl.nu/dmbr

(507): Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.

http://tfl.nu/ydba

(860): we've started having sober sex

(203): you really do like him

http://tfl.nu/ocmd

(312): I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.

http://tfl.nu/6of9

(843): The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.

http://tfl.nu/6x6n

WORLD CUP SECTION:

(914): just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.

http://tfl.nu/5aat

(925): After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.

http://tfl.nu/n6kw

(323): I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning

http://tfl.nu/dryp

(209): Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.

http://tfl.nu/af2i

(913): You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup

http://tfl.nu/bt9z

Headline of the day

Bimbo Recalls Soft White Bread

I didn't know bimbos had such great memories.

A geography lesson at the supermarket

Califorina? Well, at least we know it's somewhere in the USA.

Plat du jour

Living with bobcats XXXVIII (and mountain lions (cougars) and bears)

Minnesota: Two bobcat sightings on Hiawatha Ave., Bobcat search starts from scratch

Plat du jour

On a shiny, black car.

Best Text From Last Night

(912): It's shedding
(1-912): I told you penises don't tan

http://tfl.nu/7fx9

Living with bobcats XXXVII

Pennsylvania: Man gets unexpected visit from bobcat near Julian

Florida: Cute and cuddly doesn't count with this little kitty

TFLN time

(513): First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...

http://tfl.nu/keaf

(205): I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.

http://tfl.nu/44vh

(339): just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.

http://tfl.nu/ap45

(270): Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.

http://tfl.nu/qnn2

(650): we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
(505): god you guys know how to party
(650): worst. bachelorette party. ever.

http://tfl.nu/3oqx

(409): We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
(1-409): How are you texting me from 1998?

http://tfl.nu/t1vq

(403): Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.

http://tfl.nu/0g8l

(718): bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
(917): I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation

http://tfl.nu/gosl

Living with bobcats XXXVI

California: 'Babe' has her babies

Arizona: Reader Photos

Headline of the day

Boy uses video game skills to save sister from moose

It's time for more Texts from Last Night

(678): At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
(908): Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?

http://tfl.nu/yka4

(315): His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.

http://tfl.nu/73dw

(954): so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine

http://tfl.nu/9kja

(216): As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.

http://tfl.nu/d4mm

(443): I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.

http://tfl.nu/2acf

(860): letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs

http://tfl.nu/yswk

(+49): Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face

http://tfl.nu/4iya

(219): My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?

http://tfl.nu/0knj

(514): I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was

http://tfl.nu/5j8j

Plat du jour

From Overheard in New York

Conductor: Tickets, please. Oh, wow, is that a parrot?
Lady with parrot on her shoulder: Yes, it is. I take him out every mother's day to see my parents. He's on a leash, though, and won't make any noise.
Conductor: Okay, no problem. There's actually a cat in the next car and a dog in the one after that.
Parrot lady's kid: A cat in the next car?! Cats eat birds. One animal per car!
Conductor, deadpan: I've got bad news for you, kid--there's more animals on this car than just that parrot.
Casual observer, not looking up from his paper: Truer words have never been spoken.

--Metro North

via Overheard in New York, Jun 1, 2010

The classiest flash mob ever

HT to Bil Browning at Bilerico

Plat du jour--guest submission

I assume the seats in this car recline.



Another one from Joanne.

Living with bobcats XXXV

Canada: Bobcat spotted in another Calgary neighbourhood

Virginia: The Cat In The ... Vent

I ♥ Texts From Last Night

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

From Overheard on the Beach

Girl shouting to friends: Goldilocks! Stop sleeping in everyone's bed, you whore!
--Tampa, Florida

via Overheard at the Beach, May 31, 2010

Plat du jour

Time for more Texts From Last Night

(214): If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.

 http://tfl.nu/19fo

(206): She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.

 http://tfl.nu/x87e

(402): On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
(402): Update, its a couple

http://tfl.nu/mrbp

(403): so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.

 http://tfl.nu/j4fw

(607): Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.

 http://tfl.nu/om4f

(614): Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is

 http://tfl.nu/l5nn

(402): All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was

 http://tfl.nu/p0yn

(512): why does the wii remote smell like your vag?

 http://tfl.nu/z7m2

Plat du jour--guest submission

Beware of Ivy League wolves





HT to Joanne

Living with bobcats XXXIV

Rabies: Florida Bobcat That Attacked Horse Tests Positive

Yes, cat, I am looking at your fat ass

Plat du jour

What would Freud say?

More great Texts From Last Night

(613): ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.

 http://tfl.nu/in19

(303): I don't know where my bra went.
(1-303): Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.

http://tfl.nu/03yq

(530): There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them

 http://tfl.nu/te5k

(516): Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.

 http://tfl.nu/o92e

(937): There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.

http://tfl.nu/hmr5

(403): Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.

 http://tfl.nu/6qnx

Even cows get a day off sometimes

(Maxppp/ZUMA Press)

This is a great idea

Cartoon Network plans major anti-bullying campaign

It seems Fossella has some sense

Fossella NOT Mounting A Comeback

Living with bobcats XXXIII

California: Bobcat family makes home at golf course

Best Texts From Last Night of the week

(804): finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.

http://tfl.nu/gp9t

(248): the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky

 http://tfl.nu/6tb5

(203): Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.

 http://tfl.nu/4eoz

(706): I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.

 http://tfl.nu/e8qy

(805): a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
(818): god is laughing at you again

 http://tfl.nu/4fg3

(810): can I come stay the night
(217): yeah, but no sex tonight
(810): I'll stay home

http://tfl.nu/tu8g

Plat du jour

Best Overheard in the Office of the week

Diner #1: I don't think you want to increase your vascular output for a snake bite.

Diner #2: So no Viagra.

Diner #3: Why would anyone take Viagra hiking?

Diner #2: To keep from rolling out of the tent.

Oak Ridge, Tennessee

--source

Runner-up:

Hotel clerk #1 to another, after seeing tv news report: Can you believe someone left that secret iPhone at a bar?

Hotel clerk #2: Well, not all the stupid people work here.

Manhattan, New York

--source

Can't the Staten Island Republicans find anyone decent?

Ex-Staten Island Congressman Vito Fossella May Be Coming Back to Politics

Back in 2008 I chronicled the descent and demise of Fossella, the Republican Congressman who left office in disgrace after being caught drunk driving to visit his mistress and their child, while his wife and their children waited at home.  Now the jerk has been nominated to run against the Democrat who took over his seat.

I wish

DO NOT CROSS: Tourists stood on a sidewalk Thursday along Fifth Avenue in New York where an anonymous artist painted a white line and the words “New Yorkers” and “Tourists” in an attempt to divide pedestrian lanes. (Mike Segar/Reuters) Source

Living with bobcats XXXII

California: Bobcat stirs mixed feelings in upscale Newport Beach neighborhood, Dover Shores resident zooms in on bobcat, Family Of Bobcats Make Home On Oceanside Golf Course

Oklahoma: Oktaha Postmaster Delivers Photo Of Bobcat To NewsOn6.com

Iowa: Kingsley woman spots bobcat on back deck

Florida: Bobcat Falls To Death From Power Pole

Plat du jour

I think they're reproducing

"Pirate" pleads guilty--Yay!

Piracy suspect pleads guilty in NY court to hijack

Taylor Momsen and bobcats connect

No, not really. But a column on the front page of today's New York Times business section by David Carr talks about how headlines are manipulated to attract Google's attention, so I thought I'd get in on the act. Like this post, his column had nothing to do with Taylor Momsen. And I can't even claim to have had any idea who Taylor Momsen is, at least before I read his column.

As for the bobcats, (which this post really isn't about either), a lot of the visits to this blog have been by people who Googled "bobcats" in its images section. I've had over thirty of my "Living with bobcats" posts, which I have illustrated with one or another bobcat image I've hotlinked to. For some reason Google sometimes lists this blog in the first five or six results. Last week it was even number three, until it disappeared on Sunday. My daily hit count went way down.

So this is my shameless attempt to regain my high ranking for bobcats (plural, not singular) images.

Another two weeks of TFLN (Part 4)

MISC

(860): She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora

http://tfl.nu/wtuh

(703): Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.

http://tfl.nu/0otc

(267): Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
(484): God wants them to get laid too.

http://tfl.nu/23cz

(337): Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.

http://tfl.nu/jwrv

(281): I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.

http://tfl.nu/asc9

(301): Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.

http://tfl.nu/ivbh

(507): Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins

http://tfl.nu/hk0d

(757): I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.

http://tfl.nu/wt3s

(608): I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.

http://tfl.nu/mczp

(660): My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)

http://tfl.nu/iyqj

(703): Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.

http://tfl.nu/mxxc

(704): Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo

http://tfl.nu/ot2w

Another two weeks of TFLN (Part 3)

DRUGS

(816): Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.

http://tfl.nu/ygc3

(616): We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.

http://tfl.nu/giz7

(914): I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me

http://tfl.nu/jvjy

SCHOOL

(516): any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?

http://tfl.nu/452g

(260): Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
(219): You said that last year...

http://tfl.nu/7qlf

(269): Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.

http://tfl.nu/dknj

(516): Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.

http://tfl.nu/ofvx

(970): the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".

http://tfl.nu/8tbj

(512): Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?

http://tfl.nu/y99r

(856): i just sold back the books i vomitted on

http://tfl.nu/74a4

(845): Because ur a stupid bitch
(1-845): Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.

http://tfl.nu/0sjk

(864): Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this

http://tfl.nu/9hno

(366): just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.

http://tfl.nu/eijl

(203): The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.

http://tfl.nu/g05l

(715): Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!

http://tfl.nu/fchw

(503): No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.

http://tfl.nu/ym74

Another two weeks of TFLN (Part 2)

SEX

(910): This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.

http://tfl.nu/a6lo

(419): All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.

http://tfl.nu/ooyw

(757): He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.

http://tfl.nu/ihy8

(646): There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
(1-646): Your pregnant arnt you

http://tfl.nu/t59m

(918): Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.

http://tfl.nu/cew3

(732): obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.

http://tfl.nu/4d0b

(309): so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.

http://tfl.nu/wbty

(847): he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
(952): You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....

http://tfl.nu/ht91

(405): Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times

http://tfl.nu/skpm

(609): This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage

http://tfl.nu/v5ez

(850): some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.

http://tfl.nu/tn6y

(620): Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.

http://tfl.nu/24p0

(702): Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter

http://tfl.nu/pr4p

(760): Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?

http://tfl.nu/iolx

Another two weeks of Texts From Last Night (Part1)

There are just tons and tons of good ones. There's something about the end of the school year that brings out the worst (and funniest) in people.

DRINKING

(720): You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb

http://tfl.nu/rxp6

(765): I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.

http://tfl.nu/oixi

(203): that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.

http://tfl.nu/oyv6

(501): Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.

http://tfl.nu/8hd7

(214): bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.

http://tfl.nu/k2ap

(615): good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.

http://tfl.nu/bhcd

(757): you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'

http://tfl.nu/umk4

(904): Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea

http://tfl.nu/h1b1

(518): As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.

http://tfl.nu/t4x8

(613): I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after

http://tfl.nu/kbgy

Sometimes I really think the same way

From Bizarro

Plat du jour

Living with bobcats XXXI

California: Residents say bobcat family has left community
Arizona: Reader photo

Best Overheard in New Yorks of the week, so far

Hipster #1: I'm not a hipster. I'm a bisexual Jew with a penchant for interning at alternative magazines and weeklies.
Hipster #2: You've got the words "bisexual, Jew, penchant, interning," and "alternative" in a single sentence. Dude, that is the definition of hipster.

--Think Coffee

Source

Obese 40-something Puerto Rican hoochie in black tube top: Hey, watch where you're going.
Little blonde teen: Sorry. Didn't realize you were late for your episode of "what not to wear."

--Bleecker & Broadway

Source

I've been sketched!

Luma Rouge drew this highly flattering sketch of me accepting my raffle winnings from Anita Cookie at the Dangerous Curves Ahead Kickoff Show.

Plat du jour

Living with bobcats XXX

California: Bobcat mom and babies entertain neighborhood

Texas: Bobcat invades yard, attacks dogs

Plat du jour

Doctors dream of Porsches. At least this one does.

Go Beavers!

Canada's eager beavers build world's largest dam

Plat du jour

In Yiddish this means a divinely foreordained spouse or soulmate (female). At least that's what Wikipedia says.

Alignment fail

http://failblog.org/2010/04/28/epic-fail-photos-auto-sign-fail/

Two weeks of great Texts From Last Night

There are so many I divided them into categories.


DRINKING

(917): Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it

http://tfl.nu/sdds

(416): No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.

http://tfl.nu/0i7a

(507): I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya

http://tfl.nu/oizi


SEX

(714): i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick

http://tfl.nu/4tuf

(714): She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.

http://tfl.nu/k8wl

(435): Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'

http://tfl.nu/b5vr

(513): You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.

http://tfl.nu/utqj

(540): he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride

http://tfl.nu/4fyt


SCHOOL

(810): The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.

http://tfl.nu/bsvq

(336): I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality

http://tfl.nu/g1bs

(616): So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???

http://tfl.nu/k6yj

(781): the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator

http://tfl.nu/8mwn


MISC

(904): he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up

http://tfl.nu/1mju

(337): Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.

http://tfl.nu/whuj

(732): and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it

http://tfl.nu/ub7i

The best Overheard in the Office of the week

Innocent female hospital coworker: What does "coitus" mean?
Devious male hospital coworker: Gee, I'm not sure, why don't you google it?
Innocent female hospital coworker: Okay, I'll check wikipedia. (does so, then screams and covers computer screen with both hands, averting her eyes)
Devious male hospital coworker, laughing hysterically: Is something wrong?
Innocent female hospital coworker, still covering screen: There are pictures!

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Gerry

via Overheard in the Office, Apr 27, 2010

The best from Overheard in New York of the last week

Girl: You know, I really appreciate that you're the only guy friend I have that never tried to hit on me.
Guy: Don't give me too much credit, I just don't think you're hot.

--Union & 7th, Brooklyn

Overheard by: ra

via Overheard in New York, Apr 30, 2010

Shiksa: Is semen kosher for Passover?
Jewish girl: I think so. Sperm don't have hooves.

--23rd St & Lexington

Overheard by: Jason

via Overheard in New York, Apr 30, 2010

Mother: Fee fie fo fum!
Very young daughter: I have me a smelly bum!
Mother: Oh dear.

--McCarren Park

Overheard by: Todd Dillard

via Overheard in New York, Apr 27, 2010

Monty Python + Star Trek = LOL

HT to Sandy Shoes

Semi-random thoughts

• Periodically the United States Treasury has been introducing additional security measures to the currency. Another version of the $100 bill was recently announced. But I don't see how this will prevent counterfeiting, since the old versions of the bills are still being used. The counterfeiters can still make fakes of the old versions.
• I got a request for my current contact information from a group I'm in. It asked for my name, e-mail address, cellphone, and home phone (if any). Today it is assumed one has a cell phone, but not necessarily a home phone. 
• I got a Facebook ad for breastfeeding tops. I'm trying to decide if this is even more stupid than the ones for FTM top surgery.
• Google has resumed listing my glob for "bobcats" images (though not "bobcat"). It was third the last time I looked. This is why my hit count has averaged 45 a day for the last week.
  

Plat du jour

Living with bobcats XXIX

Massachusetts: Bobcat makes a late-night appearance

Semi-random thoughts

• Google Maps' public transit directions are very useful, except they don't take into account the multiple entrances many subway stations have. I'd love directions that did, and tell you which part of the train to ride in. That would be extremely useful. Hopstop does seem to know about multiple exits, so I'll try using that.
• Maybe the funniest thing I've ever seen on Facebook: "Juliet Jeske became a fan of Pinchbottom Burlesque and Torah."
• I got one of those new Cisco Valet wireless routers after my old router died. It's as easy to install as they claim. It even has a nice feature that lets guests use it to access the internet, while still keeping them out of the rest of the network.
• Tickets went on sale for the Radio City Music Hall Christmas show this week. It's still April.

Living with bobcats XXVIII

Bobcat that attacked Arizona man was rabid

Massachusetts: Bobcat spotted in Ludlow

Headline of the day

Bolivian president says eating chicken turns men gay

OK, he was talking about chicken injected with female hormones, but still, this is pretty stupid.

Now if he said the chicken made men's breasts grow, well, I think I'd be eating more chicken.

My top Texts From Last Night of the week

(256): I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.

http://tfl.nu/8aru

(610): I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.

http://tfl.nu/1pbs

(214): A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.

http://tfl.nu/a1lj

(517): My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.

http://tfl.nu/a468

(530): my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...

http://tfl.nu/yh1f

Places I slept last year

I see I never posted this.

New York, NY
Albany, NY
Lenox, MA
Boston, MA
Lowell, MA

An even shorter list than 2008's.

HT to Veronica

Micro-review: Lend Me a Tenor

Well-done fluff. Aside from one or two bad homonym jokes it is an evening of non-stop laughter.

Yay, Turkey!

Turkish navy commandos capture pirates

Next, remove "under God" from the Pledge

Federal judge rules Day of Prayer unconstitutional

And after cleaning up the Pledge of Allegiance let's remove "In God We Trust" from our money.

I note with satisfaction that Judge Crabb sits in my old college town, Madison, Wisconsin.

Living with bobcats XXVII

Arizona: Bobcat invades Phoenix man's attic with babies in tow

Headline of the day

Cops: Drunk horseman rides into crowd on Mule Day

Somali thugs apparently win one

Somali pirates hijack cargo ship near Seychelles

Semi-random thoughts

• Saturday generally seems to be the worst day of the week for visits to my blog. I guess I have somehow developed a following among orthodox Jews.
• A Facebook friend wrote,
  

  Can anyone I know recommend a place in NYC to eat that is loud, dark and impossible to have a conversation with someone? Can be expensive, I'm not paying.

  I wonder who she has to dine with?
• This morning a bird pooped on my wife's head. Everyone (including me) told her it's good luck. (Everyone (including me) lied.)
• It seems the expected life expectancy of an under-sink swing out garbage pail is 8.5 years.

Somali thugs lose again

US Navy holds 6 suspected pirates after battle

Another great TFLN

(757): I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.

source

From TFLN

(636): A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.

source

(612): I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm

source

(256): Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.

source

Yawn headline of the day

City Catholics Attend Easter Sunday Services

It would have been news if they didn't attend.

Quote of the day

"Dear Lord – in the past year you have taken away my favorite actor (Patrick Swayze), my favorite actress (Farrah Fawcett), my favorite musician (Michael Jackson) and my favorite pitchman (Billy Mays).

"Just wanted to let you know my favorite TV and radio personalities are Bill O’Reilly, Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter and Sarah Palin."

--Lawrence Eisenberg via Liz Smith

Headline of the day

Easter Bunny Assaulted Outside Fishkill Candy Shop

Living with coyotes XVI

New York: Pet Poodle Killed by Coyote at Rye Retirement Home

How about this, bacon lovers?

The always-inventive people at ThinkGeek have come up with a new toy:

My First Bacon

Product Specifications

•Huggable plush bacon for kids and kids at heart 8 and older
•Says "I'm bacon!" when you squeeze him
•Mechanical animated mouth
•Velveteen pork flesh and super soft fleece fat
•Teach your kids to love bacon, not pigs
•Please do not eat My First Bacon(tm).
•Requires 3 x AA Batteries (not included)
•Dimensions: 19" tall by 7" wide

Living with bobcats XXVI

Washington: Visiting bobcat spooks pets, their owner in Port Ludlow

My census has been queered

Stupid Somali thugs lose another one

US Navy frigate captures 5 pirates near Seychelles

Happy April Fool's Day!

Click here

TFLNs of the day

Tons of good ones today. My favorites:

(615): I'm watching ellen!
(1-615): just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show http://tfl.nu/chlu

(719): I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me. http://tfl.nu/o08k

(630): I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.http://tfl.nu/xm6j

(408): Maybe my heart is located in my vagina http://tfl.nu/huf2

(919): So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
(1-919): And that worked?
(919): 9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards. http://tfl.nu/moso

(214): new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5. http://tfl.nu/1dnu

Yay, Netherlands!

Dutch disarm 12 pirates off coast of Somalia

Living with bobcats XXV

Canada: Second sighting of elusive bobcat

Micro-review: Hard Times

The Pearl Theatre Company scores again. Six actors juggle 19 roles plus ensemble in this excellent adaptation of Dickens' novel.